By ridiculing vampires, or assuming they are all like those "Twilight" movies, society is making real vampires afraid to come out of the coffin, according to social workers.

Real vampires are different than lifestyle vampires, like goths, otherkin, furries and various BDSM identities, say the authors. Think of it like the difference between people with Celiac disease and rich, white women who adapted going gluten-free as a new diet - except Celiac disease is real and there are no real vampires. 

But don't you judge them, because you being all judgmental is why social workers are concerned that these 'real' vampires won't come forward for counseling. In a recent paper they specifically link microaggression like "You think you are a what?"  to high dropout rates from counseling and they specifically list minorities as a target for concern. You think it's hard out there for a gay black Republican? Imagine being a gay black Republican vampire. 

Like a sexual orientation, real vampires say they were born that way. What is the evidence for that? Self-identification requires no pesky science to get in the way and since surveys of real vampires show that they are in no defined cultural demographic, the alternative is assumed to be biological - that is sociology logic.

But if this article gets any traction, look for an epidemiologist to blame some endocrine disruptor or BPA or whatever fundraising campaign that anti-science groups are launching this quarter. 

H/T: Alan Levinovitz

Hank Campbell is the President of the American Council on Science and Health. He can also be reached on Facebook, Twitter and more.