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    The Benevolent Galactic Overlords Are Among Us
    By Thor Russell | March 31st 2012 06:24 AM | 2 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
    About Thor

    My background is in science, maths, engineering and psychology. My work in artificial intelligence and pattern recognition gives me some unique insights...

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    There has been much interest lately in the fact that there are many planets that could harbor life, and it seems increasingly unlikely that we are alone out there. There is much confusion about the statistics of how to calculate that chance of something happening when it has just happened once, but there is an as yet undisclosed answer to all of this that explains how all of this works, explains many things and tell us just how special the time we are living in is. 

    An important message from the past 

    It is about a long lost message from the past that has much meaning on our times today. It is not able to be translated into English accurately but it goes something like this

    "I am living in a time when there have never been more people. There are hundreds of thousands if not a million people living on this world, and I wonder why is it that I am living with so many other people as company. I know that in ancient times there were not such large villages and there were far fewer people in existence. Now given of course that there are a countable number of souls to be blessed with our so unique existence through all time, what is the chance that in this life I would find myself living in a time with many people to keep me company? Well if you think about it for a while you will realise that it is quite likely. There are far more people living now than there ever have been in history, and it is no coincidence that I find myself living in such times. If you were to choose a random soul from history, then it is much more likely that they will live in a time with millions of people than one with few. It is just simple maths and logic. There are only one thousand people to choose from in a time with one thousand people alive, but 1 million people to choose from in a time with one million people alive. Therefore I am one thousand times more likely to live in a time with one million people than with one thousand. 

    So, but what about 1 billion people? Well I would be one thousand times more likely to live in those times, but I do not live in such times. Whatever can I infer from this? Well it means that there won't ever be 1 billion people alive or I would be alive with them. I am living in a very special time. Something special is going to happen, whether it be the end of the world or us changing into something so different that we wont be the same anymore..." 

    What does this message mean? 

    So what do we make of this? Well like many people from ancient times, they were not wrong, but just ahead of their time. The time the author is speaking about is now, and we really are in a special time, with some kind of transition about to take place. Whether that is good or bad remains to be seen, but it is clear that forever after we will never be the same. 

    This same statistical logic can in fact be applied to problems that vex us nowadays. The fact that we now are talking about infinite possibilities rather than finite souls changes nothing. Whether we are talking about Multiplying Multiverses or Infinite Inflation or Bewildering But Beautiful Boltzmann Brains or Silly Simulated Singularitairian's and also perhaps Equilibriating Tardises the principle is the same. 

    But what about the aliens? 

    Yes but how does this apply to aliens you may ask? Well of course we already know there are many suitable planets in the galaxy and we know that we are a million times more likely to be living in a galaxy with millions of life forms than one with just one, ourselves. So where are they? 

    Well it has been long known that a single civilization only travelling at a fraction of light speed could exponentially grow and colonize the entire galaxy long before we would have had time to appear. With a 500 year interval between planetary settlement, one planet becomes two, then four, then eight, then 1 million in just twenty doubling times or 20*500 years = 10,000 years. And in just 15,000 years at this rate 1 billion planets in the galaxy will have been colonized. But we know of course that the universe is billions of years old and this has not happened because we are here. So what is happening? Well this is where the Benevolent Galactic Overlords come in, partly described here in the modified zoo hypothesis. Obviously there is something that stops a crazily expansionist civilization expanding and destroying everything its path. The only thing that can keep such a civilization in check is an existing civilization that already monitors all of the galaxy without destroying it but stops one civilization from interfering with another. We should be thankful that the first civilization to arise in our galaxy was one that decided to behave in this way and protect all of us. 

    Now what time do we live in? We know that we are living in special times, and also with alternating prophesies of doom and salvation we are on a knife edge where what we do now matters more than any other time. So how do those Benevolent Galactic Overlords fit into all of this? Well they are not content just to watch us possibly fail from afar, they need to be right here where the action is to do their best and try to steer events in the right direction. People have known this for quite a while now, and have of course tried to figure out things about them such as: 

    What do they look like? 

    Well we think we have made some progress with this. We now know the virtue of efficiency and that the largest power source in any solar system is the sun, so it only makes sense that the aliens would be small and solar powered, hence the Little Green Men. But really, what a terribly biased thing to suggest!!

    Little GREEN men! This displays such terrible bias, showing where much of our problems come from. Green is the color of shamefully wasted green photons! Our plants reflect and waste all those green photons that hit them and that is how we see them as green. (Oh yes, I almost forget, the aliens will have no need for two genders) Materials that actually use all the light hitting them are black of course. Even more shockingly, the complete photosynthetic process is only somewhere around 4% efficient. Its well known from reliable sources that alien plants would be black and far more efficient of course. Green is not the color of efficiency, it is the color of terrible wastage. That is the cause of much of our troubles: The things that we hold up to be environmentally friendly set such a terrible example that it is so hard for us to do better. Most of our trees also shamefully waste their leaves every year too. Its no wonder that we throw our appliances away every few years when we have this kind of example to follow. 

    So we can be sure that the aliens will not be green, but of course will be dark skinned. Given that most of the world's population has darker colored skin this will also help them to blend in. The USA has already seen more than its fair share of alien activity as documented by Hollywood so it is clear that the action won't be there. Also these aliens would not be able to blend in in situations where there are only fair skinned people, so contrary to popular suggestions of bored paranoid xenophobia, this also explains why UFO's are often seen in mainly deserted areas where only fair skinned people live. 

    Now what other clues do we have? Well of course they will harvest solar energy from their skin. This means that they will not need to eat and equally likely see our food supplies as unnecessary and very barbaric. They will avoid situations where they have to eat but will still keep their weight because of the energy they harvest so efficiency from the sun. Well where does that leave things? Yes we are in critical times, but I have given more clues than I think I am allowed and really have to be cover my tracks now. What to do is up to the reader now. Perhaps you will receive another message this time next year ... 

    This message has originated from the first country in the sun.
    1/04/2012 (NZDT) aka Galactic Universal Time 

    Comments

    Halliday
    Nice April Fools joke.  :D
    Thor Russell
    Thanks.
    Thor Russell