The proliferation of sexual harassment allegations against powerful people in government, business, and media has brought to light a serious cultural problem in America that needs to be addressed.
The best solution is likely what we are witnessing now: Public shaming. In the age of social media, shaming is an important tool for those without power to keep those with power in check.
Undoubtedly, however, we will soon hear calls from do-gooders that the federal government needs to get involved. We’ll need more rules. More laws. Perhaps even a Sexual Harassment Czar.
Because I want to stay ahead of the curve, I would like to propose a solution inspired by Obamacare: Government mandated sexual harassment insurance for men.
The program will be called Protecting Everyone from Cuddles, Kisses, and Eroticism, otherwise known as PECKER. All men will be required to purchase PECKER insurance at the age of 26. Before then, they can remain on their father's plan.
Just like Obamacare, there will be PECKER exchanges, where men can purchase the plan most suitable to their individual needs. Are you a serial sexual harasser? Then, you'll probably opt for the Harvey Weinstein package. Do you only occasionally grab a woman's breasts without her consent? The Al Franken plan is best for you. Older men who like to date younger women -- that is, really younger women -- should sign up for the Roy Moore special.
Of course, all insurance plans will be subjected to minimum coverage requirements. For instance, all plans must cover ogling, creepy grinning, and awkward conversation-making. After all, what man isn't guilty of that?
Unfortunately, unlike Obamacare, there will be restrictions for those men with incurable pre-existing conditions. Due to the sheer volume of offenses, people like Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner are simply uninsurable.
We could say that, under the proposed policy, their PECKERs aren’t covered.