If you have lived in a place with Maple trees, you know the process; you stick a spigot in a tree when the winter thaw arrives and hang a bucket on it and delicious sugar water arrives. Then you empty the bucket into a vat and create a ridiculous amount of carbon emissions boiling it down to a thick syrup.
But by golly global warming takes back seat if it means someone using cane sugar and some flavoring can make tasty syrup far more environmentally friendly. That $50 a gallon delight needs to be protected with the full force of the Federal government. Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., and co-sponsor Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., are here to help.
They claim their Maple syrup is like 'Champagne' or 'Vidalia' onions; Maple syrup in Vermont should mean Vermont. Can you go to Federal prison for selling a fake Vidalia onion in Georgia? The Senators, who have nothing better to do while the economy remains in a morass, believe that if the syrup crosses state lines, it is Interstate Commerce and therefore should carry a greater penalty. Bonus: it will run Mrs. Butterworth right out of grocery stores, meaning consumers have no choices, always a good thing.
I suppose they will need to release some drug dealers In New York to make room for the real criminals; counterfeit syrup producers in Vermont. Vermont doesn't want any federal prisons in its state. It would ruin the wholesome vibe.