Well, it worked. A newspaper clipping of my demise and bloody swim trunks with the leg chewed off would get anyone's attention. Did Ryan Seacrest of American Idol fame get one? No, he did not, but he Tweetypaged or Faceyspaceyed or whatever that thing is people do if they're either concerned you won't know what they had for lunch or want to foment an Iranian revolution.
I thought they just had it in for me but I am wrong because today they sent me a t-shirt showing me they want to be my pal. See, it says 'chum' right on it. I like that kind of old school language.