10. Chocolate contains tryptophan, a chemical in the brain that is used to produce the neurotransmitter, serotonin. High levels of serotonin stimulate the secretion of endorphins, and produce feelings of elation. Serotonin is found in the antidepressant Prozac, and the designer drug “ecstasy” produces its effects by increasing serotonin levels in the brain. So… antidepressants, illegal drugs, or a Hershey’s bar. You pick.
9. Chocolate also contains a chemical called phenylethylamine. High levels of this neurotransmitter help promote feelings of attraction, excitement, and giddiness. Phenylethylamine works by stimulating the brain's pleasure centers and reaches peak levels during orgasm. Guys, THIS is why you should always give a girl chocolates on a first date. Can’t hurt, right?
8. Chocolate might help fight heart disease. Chocolate contains chemicals called flavinoids, which thin the blood, helping to prevent clotting. All these wonderful pleasurable feelings, and good for your heart too? Man… this just gets better and better.
7. Chocolate is structurally sound. The World’s Tallest Chocolate Structure was unveiled in October 2006 at NYC’s FAO Schwarz. It was over 20 feet tall, and made of 2285 pounds of chocolate. Try doing that with a potato chip, you salty-snack fans!
6. A chocolate craving during pregnancy may indicate mild anemia. Call it an early warning system. Chocolate contains iron, and this may be the pregnant body’s way of signaling that iron levels are low. So eat that chocolate bar! It’s for the good of the baby.
5. Chocolate contains magnesium, which is known to ease symptoms of PMS. Calcium does too, which of course can be found in milk. So, if your girlfriend, or wife, or woman-in-your-life-that-you-are-close-enough-to-that-you-are-even-aware-of-such-things is having a bad time of it, bring her a piece of chocolate cake and a big glass of milk. Not only will she think you’re a sweetheart, but maybe her mood will improve enough that she’ll relinquish the remote and let you turn off Lifetime and watch the game.
4. Chocolate contains sugar and caffeine. Um, what else is there to say? Told you… Perfect.
3. Chocolate may help people live longer. In a Harvard University study conducted in 1999, researchers tracked 8,000 men and found those who ate chocolate lived almost a year longer than those who didn't. Although scientists don't know why the men lived longer, they speculate it has to do with the antioxidants found in chocolate. I speculate that it’s because these same men had enough chocolate around their house that they had no shortage of woman willing to come around and cook them healthy meals and clean their bathroom once in a while. But that’s just a theory.
2. Chocolate is a viable alternative energy source. Researchers at the UK’s University of Birmingham fed Escherichia coli bacteria a feast of waste caramel and nougat from a chocolate candy bar. The bacteria subsequently burped out hydrogen gas, which was harnessed via a fuel cell to power an electric fan. Holy cocoa, Robin! The world’s energy needs can be met with stale Snickers bars! Someone call Al Gore. He’s going to be just tickled.
And the Top Scientific Reason that Chocolate is the World’s Most Perfect Food…
1. Cocoa butter melts at 97°F. That’s right, just below body temperature. So it actually does melt in your mouth. That also means if you put a Hershey’s Kiss on your sweetie’s stomach, it will slowly melt into a little pool of chocolate. Uh oh... you’d better clean that up. And who knows where things will go from there…