Humor

Ask A Science Ninja

Hi, I am The Science Ninja.    When I am not killing people with my pinky, I am doing awesome science experiments, like how to kill people with my pinky. Because I am also scientifically awesome, people have a lot of questions, so I thought I would answer ...

Blog Post - Science Ninja - Apr 1 2020 - 12:35pm

LHC Unveils New Hugs Boson- Embraces Supersymmetry With It

Supersymmetry proponents, who have been inconsolable since the MERCURY and DVDMS experiments of the Large Halidone Collider (LHC) began eliminating most of the places where shadow particles of real physics could be hidden in 2012, rejoiced today when the L ...

Article - Hank Campbell - Apr 1 2020 - 12:36pm

FMRI Study Finds That Mindfulness More Effective Than Scientology At Clearing Thetans

BeSlyfMRI Brain Training program, created by Dr. B. Raneded out of California State University, Las Flores, has successfully demonstrated that mindfulness can clear thetans better than Scientology. Not only can fMRI answer what is really going on in a man& ...

Article - Ariana Anderson - Apr 1 2020 - 12:37pm

The Arts And Crafts Of Dark Matter

With over 40 years using and manipulating gravity for my small arts and crafts business I have discovered the answers to some of the most pressing questions in cosmology- the nature of dark energy and dark matter. As you may know, dark matter is not just p ...

Blog Post - John Pavon - Apr 1 2020 - 12:49pm

BPA Will Kill The World Homeopathically

It is rare enough to have one accepted scientific paradigm turned on its head, but last week we had two. Pay attention. This may never happen again. A study that was just published in the oft cited “ Journal of Unintentional Environmentalism and Bassoon Ma ...

Article - Josh Bloom - Apr 1 2020 - 12:56pm

Houston Is Now Mostly Democrats- And We All Will Be In 20 Years, Says Sociologist

Houston, Texas, hometown of both Roger Clemens and Walter Cronkite (and, errr, David Khoresh if we're being comprehensive) is a bellweather city for the US, says a researcher who happens to live in Houston- in that it is now more Democrats than Republ ...

Article - Hank Campbell - Apr 27 2023 - 9:26am

Falsification- Why Women And Scientists Make The Best Chess Players

There is a good reason most Americans stink at chess- our unfailing optimism. No matter how bad things get with the economy or the environment or (insert your pet cause here) Americans will always believe that, because we have Christina Aguilera, we beat t ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Sep 24 2023 - 1:19am

Witch Trials And You: A Guide For Halloween

It's that time of year again- All Hallows Eve- and that means an upsurge in witch sightings which inevitably leads to impromptu witch trials. As much as we appreciate that the residents of Salem do not passively sit back and wait for our just and bene ...

Blog Post - Hank Campbell - Oct 4 2023 - 9:32am

An Equation About Easter Miracles- Should Captain Carrot Quit Smoking?

I got some questions from a writer named Captain Carrot who deduced that, because I write this column for peanuts, I must also be available for free science consultation and/or general life and relationship advice. Here is a sample: I am 27. Should I try ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Feb 19 2024 - 12:37pm

Who Was Saint Patrick?

If you're a student of culture, a number of things have likely piqued your curiosity; like why so many modern people get drunk about ancient religous stuff. Take Mardi Gras, for example- go to any Mardi Gras celebration and 98% of people there will be ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Feb 19 2024 - 12:39pm