ZOOLOGISTS ANNOUNCED THE discovery of a tiny, super-cute new primate which can kill a human by licking its elbow. I am not making this up. 

The new species of loris found in the Philippines has a poison gland at its elbow, says the American Journal of Primatology. If the creature feels threatened, it attempts to grabs a slurp of poison before biting the attacker.

I reckon this fighting tactic totally sucks. Have you tried licking your elbow? It takes AGES to get your arm high enough and your head in place.

Some time after discussing this, I was in an airport and my kids and their friends were sneaking up on people and licking their elbows.

Why would anyone want to do that? 

Because they had been told that there were so few nerve endings on human elbow skin that you can lick it without the person noticing.

As good junior scientists they decided to try it out.

The experiments did not produce conclusive answers, but did trigger this important thought:

Anyone thinking about having children MUST be made fully aware that they will become LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE for the actions of the sort of people who lick other people’s elbows in airports. THINK CAREFULLY.

Picture by author

(Picture by author)