Marumi Kado started his talk by saying he will only present new results based on the full 2015 13 TeV pp collision dataset.
For Run 2 there have been a large number of improvements to the detector.

Also the trigger has been improved, with a new central trigger processor. Reconstruction software also was improved significantly. 

Marumi spent a long time describing the retuning of the detector and the performance in reconstruction of impact parameters, physics objects, and the like. The physics modellinghas been verified in several control samples of dibosons, top pairs, etcetera.

Marumi shows that the Higgs signals in ATLAS are wanting. 0.7 sigma observed in 4-lepton mode, expected 2.8 sigma. Similar story in diphotons.

Though politicians in Paris cheering a climate accord that 150 out of the 200 countries present have no intention of honoring is getting all of the attention, a more pressing concern is being ignored: a Zombie apocalypse.

Tara Smith, Associate Professor at Kent State University in Ohio says in the Christmas issue of The BMJ(1) that emerging zombie infections have been identified around the globe and, though sporadic, are becoming a source of greater concern to the medical and public health community.

Jim Olsen is giving the CMS talk on 13 TeV results. CMS recorded 90% of the 4 inverse femtobarns delivered by the LHC, but only 2.8/fb were taken with the magnet at 3.8 Tesla (for the rest of the time the magnet was off due to a problem with the helium purity).
A plot of the dimuon invariant mass of 60,000,000 events collected by dimuon triggers was shown, which is a pleasure to watch. I will attach it here later.

CMS has 18 new searches for beyond-the-standard model effects. For objects with masses above 1 TeV the sensitivity of 2.2/fb of analyzed data may be larger than the sensitivity of 2012 data.

The diboson bump at 2 TeV is almost completely ruled out; so is the edge signal of SUSY that was seen in run 1 (a 2.6 sigma excess back then).

The cycling World champion is significantly less successful during the year when he wears the rainbow jersey than in the previous year, and many have said this is due to a curse.

Thomas Perneger at Geneva University Hospital, Switzerland, put his intellectual petal to the metal to find out if this curse is real and details his work in the Christmas issue of The BMJ.(1)

The "rainbow" jersey is worn by the current cycling World champion (it is white, with bands of blue, red, black, yellow and green across the chest) and many cyclists believe that the World champion will be afflicted with all manner of misery while wearing the jersey- injury, disease, family tragedy, doping investigations, even death - but especially a lack of wins.

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA (DEC. 15, 2015). Researchers have found little or no 'July effect' in the field of neurosurgery.

The 'July effect' is the theory that more medical and surgical errors, and, consequently, greater levels of morbidity and mortality occur during July, the month during which fourth year medical students become interns and residents advance to higher levels of training where they face greater challenges and more responsibility.

When we speak, we "leak" information about our social identity through the nuanced language that we use to describe others, according to new research in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. This research shows that people can infer a speaker's social identity (e.g., political party affiliation) from how the speaker uses abstract or concrete terms to describe someone else's behavior.

As most of you already know, today at 3PM two back-to-back talks by Jim Olsen (CMS) and Marumi Kado (ATLAS) at CERN will disclose the latest results of physics analyses performed on 13 TeV proton-proton collisions recorded this year by the two experiments. (To follow the talks see here).

The fine gentlemen who run Quebec-based Valeant Pharmaceuticals are probably thanking some deity or other for Martin Shkreli, the vile little creep who is the founder and CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals. 
In case you do not have a "vile little creep" Google News alert, Shkreli won the hearts of millions of Americans when he paid $55 million to Impax—the sole maker of Daraprim, a niche drug for treating toxoplasmosis—and raised the price of the 60-year old drug by 55-times. Because... he could. 

EUGENE, Ore. -- Dec. 14, 2015 -- Evolution is usually thought of as occurring over long time periods, but it also can happen quickly. Consider a tiny fish whose transformation after the 1964 Alaskan earthquake was uncovered by University of Oregon scientists and their University of Alaska collaborators.

The fish, seawater-native threespine stickleback, in just decades experienced changes in both their genes and visible external traits such as eyes, shape, color, bone size and body armor when they adapted to survive in fresh water. The earthquake -- 9.2 on the Richter scale and second highest ever recorded -- caused geological uplift that captured marine fish in newly formed freshwater ponds on islands in Prince William Sound and the Gulf of Alaska south of Anchorage.

Stories about lap dogs are everywhere, but researchers at the Virginia Tech College of Engineering can tell the story of dog lapping.

Using photography and laboratory simulations, researchers studied how dogs raise fluids into their mouths to drink. They discovered that sloppy-looking actions at the dog bowl are in fact high-speed, precisely timed movements that optimize a dogs' ability to acquire fluids.

Their discovery appears today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.