In my post about the somewhat wretched dating website, I wrote about researchers' determination that all humans value the same standards of beauty.

Really, no matter if you're hot or plain, you recognize a set standard of hotness—your self-image is subject to your creative delusions, but there's an inviolable piece of humanity that knows the truth about others. And so the obvious question is what about poultry? Specifically, are turkeys turned on by hot models?

Today, of all days, I'm sure you can see the importance of this research.

To answer this question, researchers in Stockholm taught turkeys to peck images of average human female faces. They then presented poultry with faces of varying beauties. Which faces did the turkeys notice and thus peck more often? The same symmetrical, beautiful faces that male undergrads noticed. (Does this imply highly intelligent turkeys or...something else about the male undergrads?)

Similar studies with similar results imply that animals across the evolutionary spectrum recognize and appreciate the same standards of beauty: apparently symmetry implies genetic fitness. Now put that in your Turkey Day pipe and smoke it.

Here's a little (male-centric) experiment in the science of attractiveness. Which would you rather curl up in bed with, the things at left or the thing at right? While you may have difficulty convincing supermodel Marisa Miller to join you under the covers, you can easily and relatively inexpensively ensure that my new book, Brain Candy, can be yours.