A UK start-up named WNWN is making alternative chocolate using fermentation. Great, I am already a fan. If I had my way my full Easter meal would be GMOs just to stick it to anti-science hippies and the various trade groups they fund to tear down regular food.

Yet the organic industry is not wrong, if love capitalism like they do. Where once they were just a marketing gimmick beatified by Woomeister-In-Chief President Bill Clinton (who also killed nuclear energy while exempting supplements from any real FDA oversight) organic food has grown to be a $150 billion industry. In just over two decades. That is a fantastic miracle of free market principles and clever public relations. The organic industry sells small farm imagery, a health halo over their products, they claim they use no pesticides, they claim they're better for the environment, they even claim they use no synthetic ingredients. It's not just massaging the truth, it is all a flat-out lie, and their customers know it by now, but it works anyway. 

So this alt chocolate start-up had a fan, until they immediately followed their belief in the awesome power of science with tearing down their competitors by lying about them. 
Here's a screenshot:

Do you buy regular chocolate? Then you support slavery and global warming while believing "Ferngully" was a documentary. Those claims are a lot like the organic industry smear tactics.

Grandma does not approve of you lying about people. 

It's also a lie. Now, some of their marketing rhetoric is going to be a cultural debate but what is more evidence of colonialism heritage than British people pivoting back the the 19th century and telling ignorant savages they're wrong for not being born in England? No one wants slave labor, and there is no evidence it is used in the cocoa business, but I grew up on a farm so 'child' labor is pretty subjective. In the history of humankind, "adolescence" as we now know it is strictly a modern phenomenon. Until the 20th century, and the improvements in basic resource cost that science and technology brought everyone, you were a child and then you worked. This adolescent period did not exist.

We don't need to go back to that, but we also should not deny the globalization has been a good thing for developing countries just because rich countries are ahead in the race. It is lifting people out of poverty in record numbers and history shows that when people have greater wealth, meaning less income spent on basic necessities, culture flourishes. Talking down to developing countries who are following the exact same path followed by the British is patronizing to the point of insufferable.

So "slave labor" is emotional verbiage to make a buck getting rich off the back of the poor in its own way and that I very much oppose. A lot more than the CEO of the WNWN company, obviously.

What about climate change? They may have a point there, at least in England. They are an island, they would starve faster than Sri Lanka if they couldn't import food, and the number one emissions challenge the world faces is shipping. It's not food, activists exaggerate the food impact by 500 percent and, just like organic customers and journalists, it gets repeated as fact. Which means chocolate is non-existent in emissions compared to King Charles and western elites flying helicopters and private jets to climate conferences. If it were food, then you'd better not be importing legumes and cereals to make fake chocolate.

Credit: WNWN

Lastly is the deforestation. Chocolate literally evolved as a forest crop. It needs heavy shade. Does this British company think Big Chocolate is tearing down the rainforest and putting up another one to grow cocoa? Even the US Fish And Wildlife Service wouldn't be that dumb, and they once tried to tell a landowner in Louisiana they had to tear down their forest and build a new one for a frog that only exists in Mississippi.

Anyway, the Wegg, as WNWN CTO Dr. John Drain calls this fake chocolaty while talking down to us that "Easter should be celebrated ethically and sustainably”, can't be purchased, it will be given to an Instagram follower in the UK.

That's right, in true corporate mercenary fashion, this is a social media stunt wrapped in a thin aluminum wrapper of caring about the environment. The name of the company is clearly meant to be said as Win Win, which is ironic considering that their approach to winning is built on causing South American culture to lose.