As you may know, dark matter is not just present in remote galactic clusters, it is here on earth. I was puzzled why only 6 percent of my arts and crafts were actual detectable matter but I was puzzled over how to identify the missing physics that would take my crafting to the next level.
I started with what everyone in arts and crafts knows about dark matter. You can't just try seeing something you can't see, like matter with gravenoids and other 'string theory gone wild' ideas, we have to detect it by using what it does not. It isn't simply anti matter, as conclusively shown by arts and crafts luminaries such as George Francis Stephens and, later, Warja Honegger-Lavater. The most recent arts and crafts theory is that light has been the answer and the obstacle all along - we have to remove color and light from light particles.
To arts and crafts students of history, this sound a lot like the pioneering work of Ingres and Delacroix, 19th century France's science equivalent of Watson and Crick. They first postulated that this "éther" is secretly rotating, generating its own gravitational force to draw in galaxies, planets and meteors into large funnels, which then redistribute it. Ingres and Delacroix created elaborate machines as proof of concept, some simply spraying and some actually held paint brushes and moved up and down putting paint on canvas, other spin the medium then paints where applied.
In the late 1950s, the theory advanced again, thanks to Arthur Major of the University of California Berkeley, who recreated the dii ex machinis and published his seminal work in the prestigious Journal of Scientific Crafting. But rather than reviving serious scholarship it became a fad, like fractals, and went in an out of fashion in research circles (Dan Mihuta's work in the 1970s was particularly inspired) until 1994 when I made my breakthrough thanks to the increased speed, higher quality paints and better acrylic mats.
However, due to a series of attempted spying efforts by the billion dollar Institute of Michaels, I have been on the run. But I am going to reveal the secrets of dark matter at the 6th Annual Fiesta De Independencia for the dozens of attendees and I will give it away for free.