Humor

Science Has Bad News For Goth Chicks- Vampires May Not Be Real

Groundbreaking- and heartwarmingly unessential- research done by University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has attempted to confirm what a generation of suicide girls has always feared- that vampires do not exist. His reasoning? On J ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Jul 29 2008 - 7:20pm

CFL Bulbs: Save The Planet, Make Your Pets Insane

I'm usually a pretty patient guy about marketing. Unlike some, I am not educated by it and, unlike others, I don't look down on it. I know why it it exists and I appreciate its value but at some point in advocacy issues (in this case the environm ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Mar 4 2014 - 9:32am

The Science Of A Bionic Woman Part II

How close are we to real-world bionic parts like they show on TV? We spent Part I discussing Bionic Women on TV and speculating as to why they spent $55 Million on Jaime Sommers in the show but couldn't fix actress Michelle Ryan's chin. Now we&# ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Nov 11 2010 - 1:01pm

A Theoretical Physics Explanation For Santa Claus

Sometimes people think that, because I write this column for peanuts, I am somehow available for free science consulting services. Obviously this is not the case but I don't mind the occasional question, especially if it concerns real puzzles like ho ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Dec 7 2011 - 11:52pm

The Science Of A Bionic Woman Part I

We all know that if there's one thing certain to happen to professional tennis players who get hurt in skydiving accidents, it's that a clandestine para-military organization will swoop in and replace the now defective natural parts with über-awe ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Aug 4 2008 - 9:26pm

Maybe, If Hundred Pound Genius Chicks Are Your Thing, Franziska Michor Is Okay

Esquire magazine scribe Tom Junod recently wrote something that made me question my judgment and his sanity- namely that Franziska Michor Is the Isaac Newton of Biology Now, the last time someone compared themselves to Isaac Newton it was... well, okay it ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Dec 19 2010 - 9:51am

Surprise: Still No Wii Good Enough To Substitute For Actual Sports

Nothing is stranger than telling someone you play guitar and having them respond that you would therefore really enjoy playing "Guitar Hero" on a television. Wouldn't the time they spent learning an interface and practicing a game have been ...

Article - Hank Campbell - Dec 18 2008 - 2:44pm

Evolution Of Humor: Testosterone Is Why Men Try To Be Funny

A new study published in this week’s Christmas issue of the BMJ says that humor appears to develop from aggression caused by male hormones. Does it mean men are funnier? Or that more aggressive people are funnier? It means men, especially aggressive men, t ...

Article - News Staff - Aug 29 2009 - 12:40am

The Best Reason For Space Exploration In 2008: Alien Babes

When President George Bush announced in 2004 that he wanted to reinvigorate space exploration, he presented a number of arguments for increasing funding but they were all rather tepid. Space exploration technology, for example, led to CAT scans and MRIs. O ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Jun 13 2013 - 4:24pm

Scientists As Portayed In Pop Culture Films: The Essential Top 10

It's political primary season and you know what that means, right? Right, it's time to rent movies and think about something else. But you wouldn't be here if you could watch just any movies, you'd be a Huffington Post reader or Glenn B ...

Article - Cash Simpson - Jan 12 2008 - 2:13am