- he is almost 73 years old;
- he is constantly afflicted by neck pain, which for sure must prevent him from anything but the most basic reproductory capabilities;
- he fought a prostate cancer, which certainly took a hit in his sexual performances;
- he is "sick" according to his wife, and apparently attracted by underage girls - a preference which spells of a troubled sexuality, according to psychologists frequently associated with ejaculatio praecox.
Given the importance in Berlusconi's agenda of his frequent libertine parties, which in the only undisputed case of a sexual encounter drove him to miss an official ceremony -this was in the aftermath of a night with Patrizia D'Addario-, I thus venture to suggest Rocco Siffredi (right) for a suitable replacement of our Prime Minister (left). Besides being thirty years younger than Silvio, Rocco has quite evident physical characteristics, which have made him a very appreciated porn star, known worldwide. Here are some of the counts on which he beats Silvio pants down -sorry, I meant hands down:
- he is very well-known and appreciated worldwide;
- his videos have way more hits than Berlusconi's speeches;
- his sexual performances are outstanding;
- he is generally liked by women;
- his male organ well exceeds nine inches of length, and six inches of girth;
- he is still in his prime (well, at least if compared to a 72-years-old!)
Given the premises, if I could choose, I would have no doubts, and I would be quite happy to be represented by Rocco in the charge of Prime Minister of my country, both for the occasional sexual encounter he may have to oblige to, and for more formal, official performances his duty might call him to give.
Does this suggestion upset you ? Please consider:
- Italians already elected porn stars to their Parliament -it was the case with Ilona Staller (Radical Party, see right), for instance;
- Speaking of b****es, the Italian Parliament currently hosts scores of them, of both sexes;
- the Vatican does not have anything to object to the sexual conduct of our Premier, so it is only fair to believe that they would not object to Siffredi either;
- Foreign press would have to find a whole new topic to linger on, given the clear intent of Italians electing Rocco;
- Foreign Prime Ministers like Angela Merkel or presidents like Tarja Halonen would be much happier if approached the way they have been so far by Italy's Prime Minister;
- Rocco Siffredi could be trusted if he said he never paid for sex -indeed, he is the one who gets paid, and usually quite well;
- Rocco would be incorruptible: would-be ministers like Mara Carfagna or european congressmen like Barbara Matera would have to work much harder to get a chance of a seat;
- Rocco has a good relationship with photographers. He would never try to prevent his pictures from being published.
- After the decline of Italy's image in the world, what is left of our image to protect is the very important myth, that "Italians Do It Better" (we will always be indebted to Maria Rita Ciccone for wearing that shirt)! We have to defend the perception that foreigners still have of us with all our might!
I think it is time Italy makes a clear choice. Rocco for President!