When I was a young guy in the Army, if an M-16 stayed missing the President had to know about it within 4 hours(1) and that was just a gun ... imagine how much Pres. Obama wants to know whose ass to kick over 4 missing underwater robots in the Navy.

Wait ... 4???   Yes, not 1, but 4.   They were apparently on a training exercise looking for underwater mines - in the Chesapeake Bay - when contact was lost.  It was part of a routine annual training exercise among US and Canadian military and civilian forces.

We can't blame Canada for this one(2), though, and try as he might Pres. Bush Obama will have a difficult time finding someone to blame for an incompetent government response like he did for Hurricane Katrina the Gulf Oil Spill. 

Had these been Russian underwater robots we would know what happened - they would communicate with oddly Scottish accents and simply be seeking a better life.  But since they are products of the American military that would be just silly.

Some tips for the US Navy

1) Look on Ebay.   You can find anything there.

2) When my kids get in the water they have a timer and floaty thingies, and they are way smarter than your robots.   Reconsider your current method of monitoring because the water can be a dangerous place.

3) Call James Cameron.   Because he is a well-known film director, he can fix anything, just like he offered to do with the Gulf oil spill.   If you be nice to him, maybe he will stop hating Marines, since he likely does not know the difference between military branches, just that they are all full of sociopaths working for The Man.

Finally, if you see a robot floating upside down like a goldfish in the Thimble Shoals Channel between the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel, stay away - that robot is just playing possum.     Call U.S. Second Fleet commander at (757) 443-9821 and, after you are doing hiding your mock derision, tell him where they are. 


(1) Meanwhile during that time, the Village People were singing about the Navy.  Don't laugh, so were you:

(2) Nancy Pelosi will still find a way to blame Bush for this though.