Here's the headline: "Wife calls police to restrain 82-year-old on Viagra."
Here's the subhead: "A woman had to call police to fend off the attentions of her amorous 82-year-old husband after he took Viagra, fearing that he might die of 'passion.'"
The wife, who is also in her eighties, was worried that her husband's heart could give out because of over-exertion and called officers to their home in the Sicilian city of Palermo.
Police said that the man was "furious" when they arrived insisting that it was a private matter.
But she told them: "So much passion at the age of 82, with all the aches and pains he has, could prove lethal."
The dispute was eventually resolved when other members of the family arrived and police left the scene, according to the newspaper Il Giornale di Sicilia.
How do you think the cops decided who would take that call? This goes above and beyond rock paper scissors, and even cowboy ninja bearman - I'm thinking favors were promised, first born children were named, perhaps a few bottles of wine were exchanged.
And then the poor family - I'm cringing just thinking about it. How'd you like to get a phone call from the local gendarme about your parents' love life???
Another great factoid from the article: apparently a travel organization called Saga, "which caters for the over-50s," said earlier this year that demand for the pill was outstripping that for other drugs on its cruises.