Today is my 43rd
birthday. When I was 34 years old, I walked along a narrow river through the city
of Nanning in the south of China. I was lonely and depressed,
no matter the PhD degree I had recently obtained, my freedom, the beauty all
around, the women I could easily befriend wherever.
I came to the conclusion that my
life is not worth its suffering, and that it must either change, that I must
change, or it is idiotic to go on living. I asked myself: