About John In a parallel universe somewhere, John has undisclosed financial resources that fund a scientific laboratory in his shed. He tinkers late into the night, and publishes only when significant research questions have been comprehensively answered, and it is worth other people's time to read. Intermediate findings are simply available on his research blog, which attract interesting discussion and often lead to unexpected collaborations. Occasionally young people with similar obsessions come to study and train with him in an informal apprenticeship. They receive no formal qualification, but thrive with the knowledge and understanding gained through their experience.

In this universe, however, he travels daily to a major Australian university, where he is nominally a physical biochemist, or a biophysical chemist, or any number of equally pedantically hybridised but oversimplified and inaccurate labels. It ultimately doesn't matter, as the reality is that he spends his days responding to highly redundant administrative emails, writing grant proposals, entering information into administrative management software written by programmers with no practical experience, filling out financial forms, re-filling financial forms when snarky compliance officers find errors, completing purchase requisition paperwork, writing reports, and tending to the myriad other responsibilities that are apparently essential for the progress of scientific discovery in the modern era. Some nights he seditiously closes email and ignores administration to work on research, but always pays for it for many days afterward. Deep down he rages against the apparent success of university administrations in removing the artistry from science and turning it all into a process job, and dreams of a parallel universe …

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