Struggling to find a publisher for your brilliant and genre-shifting novel? You could go the way of Andrew Bodnar, former Bristol-Myers Squibb senior exec VP.

In 2006 BMS tried to delay generic competition for its blockbuster Plavix by setting up a secret agreement with generic manufacturer Apotex. BMS promised to not undercut Apotex sales if Apotex delayed bringing the generic to market until just a few months before Plavix's patent expires (in 2011). It's a big deal - Plavix has about $8 billion in global sales and brings in about $15 million per day, according to this Bloomberg article. Yes, per day. You can see why BMS wanted to hold on to its cash cow for as long as possible.

Naturally the Federal Trade Commission didn't look too favorably on that. BMS took that portion out of the manufacturing agreement with Apotex, but Bodnar made an oral promise to Apotex, and when questioned by FTC said he didn't. Bad move - in April Bodnar pleaded guilty to a single count of lying to the Federal Trade Commission, has to pay a $5,000 fine and was sentenced to two years' probation. BMS has already paid $3.1 million in fines and settlement fees.

Here's the weird part: as part of his sentencing, he is required to write a book about how he came to be convicted of the misdemeanor. The judge said, "I would like to see you write a book" so other people "don’t find themselves in a similar situation. Who knows, it may even be inspirational."

A great quote¹ from the Bloomberg article: "I hope he’s capable of writing a book," said Michael Shapiro, a Carter Ledyard&Milburn LLP attorney in New York who focuses on white-collar criminal defense. "What if he were sentenced to hit a home run at Nationals Park?"

¹ Baseball quote for you, Hank.