My friends and I call it The House Drinking Game. You see, as creative and different as House is, there are some things you can predict about it. And if you can predict it, you can make a game of it.
So if you're like the throngs of people that I know (myself included) who like to guess not only the medical condition but the process involved, you will be excited to learn that I have compiled The House Drinking Game here for your viewing (and responsible drinking) pleasure. Enjoy.
Photo: The cast of House. Copyright FOX
The House Drinking Game is basically quite simple. You either take a drink when an event happens or you make someone else take a drink when you correctly predict an event.
Take a drink when:
1) House pops a vicodin
2) House insults or makes sexual comments about or to Cuddy, 13 or Cameron
3) They show a close up of a patient's IV
4) A patient goes into cardiac arrest
5) A patient has a seizure
7) House insults a patient
8) House or his team illegally search someone's home
9) They suspect cancer
10) House tells a patient that they will die unless they cooperate
Make someone else take a drink when you correctly note that (if wrong, you drink):
11) A patient is about to bleed profusely from a non-traditional orifice
12) A patient is lying about his medical history
13) House is about to use his cane for something other than walking (ie. pushing elevator buttons, twirling it, catching a ball with it)
14) House or his team is about to perform a procedure, test, or treatment against the patient's wishes
15) Wilson is clearly ignoring his position as head of Oncology and hanging out with House
16) Someone is about to say "it explains everything", referring to a diagnosis
17) You are about to get a CGI view of action going on inside of the body
18) Someone is about to disagree with House's diagnosis or his method of treatment
19) House is about to have his epiphany
20) All 19 other things on this list have happened in a single episode
BONUS! My favorite House-isms:
"It was a boring convention. I needed somebody to drink with."
- episode: Birthmarks
"You're just upset that the whole time she was with you, she was thinking about my huge, throbbing diagnostic skills."
- episode: Lucky Thirteen
"That's weird. I usually don't get the stigmata until Easter."
- episode: The Itch