Do you have what it takes to be Scientific Blogging's alpha geek? Well it’s time put your geek where your mouth is…IF YOU CAN!

But first a warning: yes, you could Google for these answers, but then,  deep down, you’ll know you’re a bad person. Then again, you might win a free Geeks’ Guide to World Domination.

So you’ll have to balance total loss of self worth with free geek schwag. It’s up to you.

Email your answers to geekoff@gmail.com. DON'T COMMENT YOUR ANSWERS or you will allow slackers to water down the winner’s pool, thus decreasing your chances of receiving said geek schwag (and you’ll get moderated, deserve a spanking, be summarily executed, etc.).

You have until Friday at midnight EST. Then I'll post the answers—likely wrong ones—and we can fight about them.

Then try again next week. There’s a free book for each week’s winner, into perpetuity or until the powers-that-be at Three Rivers Press cut off my supply of free books.

To The Geek-Off Already!

1. Geek Culture/Ephemera
Match the pirates with their flags, ships, and fun facts in the form of “Blackbeard: 1, A, a; Mary Read: 2, B, b, etc.”

2. Math/Science
How is this a test of Einstein’s relativity?

3. Classic Puzzle
Tom, Fred, Bill, Andy and Carl are all aging athletes and each is worse for the wear. Can you match each former star to their sport and injury (in the form of Tom: baseball, rotator cuff)?
Clues:
1. Tom played soccer, so his arms still work perfectly, unlike the baseballer, who has a torn rotator cuff.
2. Strangely, the fellow who used to curl was sidelined due to multiple concussions while the footballer hurt his hip.
3. Despite living in Minneapolis, Andy has always hated curling (as does Bill), which is for the best because Andy’s bum wrist would limit his involvement, anyway.
4. Carl hurt something below the waist playing one of the big-three American sports.

4. Tech
Describe the steps one must take to have sex on Second Life.