Tomorrow I will be eating and science will barely be on my mind.

It will be on some minds. Some people will be trying to find a creative way to make vegan turkey, or free-range stuffing, and generally avoid all chemicals. Good luck with that.

Thanksgiving is Hell for chemophobes, though so are the other 364 days when they get hit with the scientific mic-drop notion that every food on earth contains a carcinogen known to cause cancer in rats

Labels won't save you, it's all stuffed with chemicals, we just don't get told about them on labels if a chicken craps them out:

Credit and link: James Kennedy

Some hyperactive parents of kids with allergies will be concerned but they can relax also - their child is more likely to be murdered than die from a food allergy on Thanksgiving.

The genome of the Thanksgiving turkey has been sequenced- thanks, science - but what about the DNA of the rest of Thanksgiving dinner? Discover is on the case!

The big thing many will wonder about is if a scientifically optimized turkey is actually better.

If I can still shoot it, I am willing to try. But even if you bought one at the store, science can tell you how to make it taste better.

What about those plants I mentioned early on? Even if you are a strict carnivore, you are still eating lots of plants. Tom Kimmerer made a comprehensive list of all the plants he ate in 15 dishes, totaling 42. I feel healthier eating my macaroni and cheese just knowing that.

Regardless, will someone come up with the idea of banning Thanksgiving because under Obamacare all of us have to pay for health care? You betcha. But if you want to know the "slim down" on Thanksgiving dinner without having President Obama use yet another executive order for "prosecutorial discretion" about food, here you go. Want to know how many calories it will take preparing the meal? Garth Sundem has the skinny on making you fat.

Okay, drive safe, if you are driving tomorrow, and try to enjoy that acetaldehyde, benzene, ethyl carbonate and all those other rodent carcinogens you will face. Don't be alarmed because that short list is just in the organic roll and organic butter you eat before the meal.