If you love the appearance of getting hammered and are too classy to hold 'near' beer - or, oddly, you enjoy the taste of whisky but don't like getting hammered - there is good news;  the world's first alcohol-free, whisky-flavored drink.

ArKay has the appearance, smell and taste of traditional whisky they say, but no alcohol, no calories and no sugar - they claim you will enjoy it straight or on the rocks or in a cocktail.

Now, they did not send this whisky to the Science 2.0 office for proper scientific testing, but they should if they want that 'they claim' disclaimer removed. It's a good idea to be skeptical of a 'no alcohol, no calories, tastes great' marketing blurb. 

Basically, despite my title, this isn't whisky, as any coherent Scot will tell you. There is no fermentation and no need to let it sit in a barrel for 25 years - and also no angry Celt yelling at you for putting an ice cube in it.  It is instead a whisky alternative that tastes something like whisky.

What is the marketing for this, I wonder?  'If you are an alcoholic, you can enjoy the taste without losing your job' is not a great one, since psychologists tell us that is provoking the dragon, i.e., the chemical addiction is not the only factor.  Instead, it seems to be people who genuinely enjoy the taste (and who really enjoys the taste of whisky the first time they try it? No one, so experienced people are going to notice the difference) or are designated drivers but still want to drink something besides Coke.

Maybe they could market it to Mormons and Muslims and anyone else who isn't allowed fermented alcohol but still want to enjoy aspects of decadent American culture they currently miss, like having an idiot in a bar spill beer on their shoes. 

So what is it, as in the ingredients?  You'd have just as good a chance of prying the Kentucky Fried Chicken Secret Recipe from Colonel Sanders as learning the answer to that; VP of Sales Josh Polky only says in their statement that the "secret recipe for this whisky-replacement is in accordance with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulations" which they don't seem to realize is much scarier than they think it is, because our imaginations work that way. In fairness to them, I didn't give them much time to reply to the media request because, really, all scientists have to read is 'whisky' and skepticism is out the window so it doesn't matter what is in it. Maybe later I will find out what's in it.

Credit: ArKay

The price is $13 so it is quite reasonable. Heck, even Jack Daniels is 30 bucks. Unless you order ArKay over the Internet, then you pay double due to that 'shipping and handling' thing. 

We'll have to remain curious about the taste for now. So if anyone orders it, tell them Science 2.0 sent you and then report back with a review.

Meanwhile, I will get back to work on that article about beer foam.