Don't be embarrassed, it happens to everyone: One day you wake up to find you've been apped. Remember: it's not your fault. You're still the same person, capable of independent thought and even mild-to-modest calculations. This, despite the fact that calculations are no longer necessary. See? The app does it for you.
And you can still make decisions that affect the way you move through the world. Should you offer to buy potentially significant boy or girl X a drink? Speaking of, how many drinks should you have at next week's office holiday party? Or whose family should you visit over the holidays?
You can still decide. But then there's the app. And you start to think Why should I decide when I can let the app do it for me? All I have to do is set the sliders and the decision is made—mathematically, with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY (wink, wink)—and I can slip carp-like into the panacea of truth born of algebra, Apple and AT&T. Thank you megaconglomerates for reaching into my very soul and stroking it until it stops whimpering!
Now you're starting to trust the app. After all, it's your friend. It's just looking out for your best interests. It wants you to do what's right. And if you act a little differently, get a little more socially keen, start to find a certain swagger this holiday season—well, those are all good things, right?
Then BAM! You realize the app's got you. You find yourself breaking out the iPhone or iPod Touch at the singles bar, at the office party, at home with your sig other and kids. Discreetly at first, and then more overtly.
What does all this mean? If you didn't already catch the way the wind's blowing (And I hope you eventually find it in your heart to forgive me for being so massively, blatantly self promotional...it's the holiday season after all, and at least nothing dealing with candy canes or thumpety-thumping is playing in the background, right?)—anyway, what it means is that there's a new Geek Logik app for iPhone and iPod Touch. And it has the two characteristics of every app on my phone: FREE and EASY. At least the Lite version, which is the good one anyway, because it has hugely embarrassing links to me explaining equations on YouTube, shot in, like, 15 seconds in somebody's basement. Here's a screenshot:
I tried to get the company that apped me to at least include a mantle of gold chains in the cheesy headshot, but alas full promotion to the status of Mr. T is still out of reach. At least for now. So click the links. They'll take you there. Then download, sit back, and listen to your brain cells settling into the couch with chips and a beer.
Join me every Monday morning for grandtastic goodies from The Geeks' Guide to World Domination. Or if you like your geekery delivered fresh, consider subscribing to my rss feed or joining my Facebook Fan Page.
- PHYSICAL SCIENCES
- EARTH SCIENCES
- LIFE SCIENCES
- SOCIAL SCIENCES
Subscribe to the newsletter
Stay in touch with the scientific world!
Know Science And Want To Write?
- Top Secret: On Confidentiality On Scientific Issues, Across The Ring And Across The Bedroom
- Drug Prevents Key Age-related Brain Change In Rats
- Would New Planet X Clear Its Orbit? - And Any Better Name Than "Planet Nine"?
- A New Alternative To Sodium: Fish Sauce
- Smoking Bans Reduce Risk Of Cardiovascular Disease In Non-Smokers
- Brain Formation Pattern Shows Why Early Trauma May Leave No Clues
- Why Diamonds Are More Of A Scientific Miracle Than You Think
- "So there is no why like Bob Fletcher or as some people say you can already see it on Russian news..."
- "Hi Joe, yes the thing is - all that is fine, it's logical from your point of view. And whatever..."
- " Like I asked David Brin: Who are the ones who are actually insane? Certainly it is NOT the skeptics..."
- "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVyV4L072jY So then what is going on in this video? Also what is..."
- "Just curious, When was the last time you (the author) generated a mathematical model? On what?..."
- Florida Declares Zika Virus State of Emergency
- Indonesia’s Many Human Physical Deformities: A Closer Look
- Spinal ‘Column’: Love for Hunchback Dog, Breakthrough for 8-Yr-Old Girl
- BMI is Bologna
- Energy Drinks: The Dose Makes the Poison
- California’s Prop 65: Bad For Public Acceptance Of Science, About To Get Worse
- Cambridge researcher develops smartphone app to map Swiss-German dialects
- Studies link healthy workforces to positive stock market performance
- Pioneering discovery leads to potential preventive treatment for sudden cardiac death
- Online shopping might not be as green as we thought
- Gene family turns cancer cells into aggressive stem cells that keep growing