Is This The Effect Women Have on Men?
    By Andrea Kuszewski | March 21st 2010 09:29 PM | 72 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
    About Andrea

    Andrea is a Behavior Therapist and Consultant for children on the autism spectrum, residing in the state of FL; her background is in cognitive


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    Just being in the presence of attractive women make men do stupid things-  or at least take more risks, according to a study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science.

    According to researchers, testosterone levels increased in men when attractive women were present. Since testosterone is a sex hormone, and has also been shown to play a role in fight-or-flight responses and risk-taking behaviors, this result is not surprising. Is anyone shocked to find that men subconsciously try and "be more manly" in front of pretty females? I filed this study away with the other blatantly obvious papers under the heading "Well, no kidding." 

    In fact, this little animation that came out on the web last year titled, "What Would Penis Do?" sums all of this up very nicely. To save myself some time explaining it with text, I will instead embed the video, and let the narrator tell the eloquent story about man's battle between the heart, the mind, and the penis.

    *note* Viewer discretion is advised. This video is PG-13, so take caution before clicking if you think you might be offended.


    Gerhard Adam
    Of course ... where else does the saying come from about men thinking with their "big head" or "little head".
    Mundus vult decipi
    Andrea Kuszewski
    My favorite part is, "Me Tarzan. Me want to bring Jane to tree house." That needs to be a pick-up line.
    OK, Andrea

    You be Jane and I'll throw a rope down ....  ;-)

    [I'm sorry, that was penis trying to get in on the act.....tee hee]

    well, Andrea, that was a good line.. :)
    you made me smile :)
    me tarzan .. you jane :)

    have u read or seen the beauty and the beast?

    olga lednichenko
    nesher, a state of mind

    Gerhard Adam
    I don't know ... sounds risky, since it leaves you open to a "cheetah" come-back.
    Mundus vult decipi
    Yep! Couldn't resist it!

    Penises have all the fun  ;-)

    My heart swoons too much and creates too many works of art and my mind just collects stuff I didn't need

    hahha,., whats is today..? all comments are interesting..this is a much nice blog.. i should have come here before :)

    wow.. this is entertaining to me


    just for andrea - i will post a "what REALLY is a woman " - from MY view -> its a view - point..

    olga lednichenko
    nesher israel

    hahaha .,. cheetah on the tree..


    Well, it's not like women's brains are functioning at full capacity when they are around a person they find attractive either.

    Instead of taking risks, it's getting all coy and bubble headed

    That is quite true, Nina. Now which hormones would that entail? lol ;-)
    probably testosterone, since we have it in lesser amounts

    thats true ,...

    the problem is - thought..

    we THINK - too much..
    we think about - the impact of what we say - will have on others (thanks to cheap how-to - books - on romance et all..) but then again.. what do i know.. my mom was born in the east,,

    thought = cherished and marvelled in the west 0-

    while east = soul - shit :)

    thats WHY
    everything else is - well, algebra - mannerisms, ettiquetes - they could - and are bought..

    being your-self , is sorta hard - you know?

    olga lednichenko
    nesher = not Cohen or Goldman -

    Aitch's getting all coy and bubble headed

    Ah, so there's the similarity, .....penises are just like that .....

    Is someone playing our tune, dear, care to lend me your bones for a while? ;-)

    Hey,.... I told, you, DOWN!!

    As a man, I certainly believe this study! I don't think anyone should be surprised...

    True as this may be, how many women have thrown their lives away to a fat arrogant slob with a fat bank account?

    Well, that gets to the provider thing.

    Guys with big bank accounts are deemed to be good providers.

    Doesn't mean that that's the only big thing he has, or that he's her only source for big things.

    Is that all we are to you, Ms. Kuszewski? A bunch of well, you know what I mean...
    Andrea Kuszewski
    Well, Marshall, science doesn't lie.... ;)
    Well, Andrea, people have been saying that for decades. It doesn't mean it's true though.

    I'm not saying it is a lie. I'm saying that it is overstated if that makes any sense. Simplified might be a better word.

    Andrea Kuszewski
    Hehee... I was actually just teasing Marshall a little. :)
    Oh, Andrea! Then does that prove what they say about women? That they love to tease?
    I always thought women teasing, is because it's a unique way women have of controlling getting a rise out of men....  tee hee

    and how we love it, eh......don't stop, girls.....

    well.. some control can go beyond a threshold - you know the rogue neuron -> so much so that the other party ay lose control - and iot could actually not be that funny or cute ..

    what if you know - that that become a reason for someone's end +of-+life


    i think , we should stop soap opera style advise.. especially to young women - who are already pumped up the adrenaline on the tube - it used to be melrose - is it OC now or is the sex and the city - out of fashion these days ?

    its not a small point -- is it?

    if so.. explain - by DATA - by science

    olga -nesher-lednichenko

    Andrea Kuszewski
    Actually, Olga, I am writing an article at this very moment talking about sexuality and the brain, and yes, using DATA.  Be patient.... it is coming... ;)
    Thanks Andrea,

    [a] that comment about using data - wasnt toward your comment - but to answer in advance

    [b] i would be more than happy to provide any data i have (i have TONS on some special kind of men )

    [c] panel data that i was alluding to is about clusters - > the context

    ":culturally we are taught what a man and a woman is " - > so culture has to be defined and also a question must be asked -> " is there any heterogeneity around some cultural clusters ?" -

    > if so.. then whats the range -> does cultural difference - start from NY and end at Texas? r does it incorporate Tokyo and Osaka ? how about Turkey and Israel? - that sort of panel data - will make some difference - as it relates to -

    the comment i didnt make - just responded -> this one ->"maybe we are taught culturally what a man and a woman MEANS "

    well, - an arab man does not mean the same as a Japanese man -> they both like bay watch - yes :) and they do have different meanings and symbols to define what a man means and about relationships between a man a woman..

    one more : eastern +european +woman -> is not considered - the same - woman.. yes.. both in east and in west and you know - middle east is neither west nor east and if you add immigrant - then its got a different patina..

    so I was just responding to a response made.. "maybe it depends on what we are taught in different cultures about what a man and a woman mean"

    i read that book "men from mars - women from venus" -> its repetitive and says - the same thing -> try asking someone in east -> do they like the best seller - in NY ? - that would be a good data point to make the point about non-homegenous cultural-clusters .. if you will

    if not - try this 0-> Deepak Chopra is very famous - where ? -> no not in india .. why? - what he says - is what they breathe ..

    marriage therapy is not that common in the east - why? - you know - i have a point -> how about " books like "how to seduce a woman /man"?

    these cheap authors - have sabotaged many a people's life andrea.. and you should support me, i can argue - maybe better when i get sleep :)

    buit its a fight i want to have .. a fight i wiull fight tooth-to-nail..

    its about something else.. but yes.. i CAN - keep scientific and academic

    i am hurt and i will express the TRUTH - for a change

    thanks for letting me vent - not rants - but what i believe to be the truth

    for what i suffer for..

    olga lednichenko
    nesher, isarel

    ps: yes i have a blog - but there is a reasson why i post here - i hope it doesnt hurt you.. if so ,.. please feel free to delete..

    sorry but some people want to express their views and opinions and thank heavens you allow us to..

    and yes.. some people resent - and SUFFER - because - some men - at large - culturally - are not the same as the data and research - suggests - men are (and portray that men as being ) - because that data and sample is based on - say NORTH AMERICAN - WHITE MEN - at max .. !! - we have 6.56 billion people - on earth and these books are sold - everywhere on earth..

    everything comes at a price.. men like sex and so doe women.. men are more visual than women.. fine.. in all natioons..

    but this advise business - should come with :

    [a] a disclaimer - that says -> our research does not include - men from these nationalities .. - and then we should LIST them nationalities

    [b] our advise is valid for the coast more than it is - for the red states -

    sorrry but its not me - but many women are suffering because of what women are being portrayed AS - and yes - by the us media and yes it impacts - marriage, engagement, education, job, visa .. !!

    i like your blog - and your comment -> basal and visceral - not sugar coated - and i am here to express my point as much as others

    Andrea Kuszewski
    Of course women love to tease! But I wouldn't take that link you posted as scientific proof of that; you can just perform random observations and collect enough data on that front.
    No, see Andrea, that link was a tease for you...knowing how much you love pop psychology and the self-help section of your favorite book store... ;)
    Man, Penis is such a dick!

    So is it true that the penis mightier than the sword?
    As far as I can tell, the study doesn´t suggest that men try to act more masculine at all, just that they take more risks. Risk taking is a gender neutral trait.

    Personally, I don´t try to ¨be more manly¨ in front of attractive women, I try to be cute and silly. The only times I try to be more ¨manly¨, (which I find an offensive term since is suggests aggression and other negative character traits) is when Iḿ dealing with a business situation, or a scary situation.

    you find the word 'manly' offensive because it "suggests aggression and other negative character traits"?
    gee thats not sexist at all...there is nothing negative about being a man.

    Interesting. I have never interpreted more manly as aggressive behavior. To me, it's a blend of bravado, protectiveness and trying to be in charge.

    a man who acts all aggressive (or woman) takes on the character of a bantam rooster or small yapping dog.
    not really manly or butch.

    Maybe it comes down more to how we've been culturally taught to think about what man or woman means.

    Despite being a lesbian, I don't think negatively of men and most of my best friends over the years have been men

    Gerhard Adam
    Maybe it comes down more to how we've been culturally taught to think about what man or woman means.
    Perhaps it also means that people can be jerks regardless of their gender.
    Mundus vult decipi
    I'd go further to say there's jerks in any group of people, however they are identified, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, ability, age

    in response to your comment : "maybe it boild down to what we have been cultutally taught what a man or a woman means"

    here is my response:

    [a] who;s culture ?

    [b] which man ? {man =- white +christian - not immigrant,. not brown .. OK - thats what we are also taught -}

    [c] which woman ? {eastern +european women - have a label - thats too impolite for this science blog :) } and i dont know science - at all .. :)

    [d] what does means 0- mean ?

    in some cultures - women - means - futyure wife - in some - a hot women - means - " for how much "

    in some cultures - woman means - "Oh them - from that nation - no no.. Oh ok.. well.. OK - then -> lets get some place wehre we can talk privately "

    sorry for speaking my mind
    sorry really

    really sorry that my pain = MY pain - not yours - is hard to handle

    sorry again

    olga ledncihenko
    nesher israel

    Hey O

    each culture has their own idea of what's manly or womanly, and we are all products of our respective cultures

    that there's no universal this is a Man or this is a Woman, shows that there are many ways to be either

    and really, there are as many ways as there are people - we'd all be a lot more relaxed and less suspectible to advertising, if we didn't have some ideal Man or Woman in our heads that we fail to measure up to

    Fred Phillips
    Please, nina, bravado is empty posturing and its motivation is fear and status-seeking. It has nothing in common with true confidence and courage - which is what I think 'real men' aspire to.

    As for risky behavior, isn't it a hoot that the government (at least here in California) thinks cell phones are the biggest distraction to men driving cars. It's now illegal to drive and talk on the phone at the same time.

    Driving is definitely risky behavior, at least on California freeways, and some drivers make it riskier than others. The science shows that pretty women are a far more dangerous distraction than cell phones, but I guess the legislature believed it was easier to ban phones than women from the highways.

    (No, this is not a sexist comment about female drivers. Male drivers are distracted equally by female drivers, female passengers, and female pedestrians!)
    which men - from which nations are we talking of? - Isareli? American ? - European? western european -? which ones?

    which men? is important here - is it not?

    a while ago someone received a note : apparently on MY behalf.. with an interesting question and it was this one:
    "are asian men -bad or just unattractive"

    so.. manly or macho - changes -monotinically increasing - > depends on which way you are flying -> east or west of Greenwich line ..


    funny isnt it ,.,.

    we humans are so cool

    olga lednichenko
    from nesher-isarel

    btw: nesher is a place and a state of mind - both - in Israel - peaceful co-existence -:)

    who said this -> "the more i know about humans the more i love my dog"

    i think men are much more visual than women, that would explain it

    when the mind is absorbed - attention on otehr things - is go-went-gone :)

    nice article..

    olga lednichenko
    nesher, israel

    I don't think that men are more visual and so prefer video porn - I think that men are just more satisfied with visuals

    whereas women perfer written porn, which is about sensation and feelings rather than merely mechanics

    if porn movies had real characters and stories - and better acting - women would be equally into porn

    Ah, more 'visual' meaning that by seeing something we get easily 'engaged'? Yes, in that case we're pretty visual.

    That's interesting, Nina, that you say that. Maybe porn producers need to realize this... If what you say is true, we may be on the verge of a porn revolution... Women-proof romantic porn! Somebody could make a fortune with this...

    Andrea Kuszewski
    "Romantic Porn".... isn't that sort of an oxymoron? ;)  I do think men are more visually stimulated than women, and women are more turned on by the fantasy- which involves the "story" rather than just the image. So if one wanted to target both men AND women, and get them aroused with the same stimuli, it would have to be an erotic image that also "tells a story". Perhaps a still image of erotic nature with a bit of ambiguity, that makes one wonder what happens next or what just happened...?
    thanks for publishing my posts.. maybe i am so tired - that i dont make sense..

    but there will come a day when i may be able to respond.. till then let me suffice to say:

    the abuse begins - when the women hits 27 plus - and then you know - there is no story to tell.. its either wrinkles or cellulite .. and thats the sad part - every woman should know.. every women - minus Jolie or madonna - who can - have a kid at 40 .. because - sadly -> men are more visual .. and

    sadly - women are treated worse than cattle -in all nations - especially in middle east and in america - and yes in japan and korea too..

    ps: no no.. no.. publish the facts - this is science blog - not an election manifesto :) science publishes truth - and in ologies - truth - means statistics - not math and the stats - say what i just wrote .. and the premise is - the divorce rate or well.. lets just say i have access to some data .. perhapos i shouldnt have had ? :)

    if not - let me try this - it may cut through the bone -> but here it is:

    which religion - (and there are only 3 - christian, moslem and jewish) has a female god ? -> so thats the glass ceiling - right at the TOP

    truth hurts.. does it not?

    The "abuse"? Wrinkles and cellulite are not always ugly! It may depend on "how many" or "how pronounced", and "how much"... Also... women who take good care typically look great until *way* later than 27 these days. You could almost double that number.

    Some wrinkles and some cellulite are actually kind of cute.

    I disagree that women are always treated as cattle, in all nations, etc. Things are already not so bad any more, and they look pretty sunny for the near future, actually. There's been HUGE progress on that in the more enlightened parts of the world. Most of the US, unfortunately, has not yet had their 'enlightenment'.

    But thanks for your contributions!

    well, wrinkles are cute - tell this to the billion plus industry - anyway enuf of my rants ..

    now..,yes, i agree Sergio with you -> suffarage bill was passed - first one to do with new zealand - and turkey had it before did france.. and then Susan B anmthony and Stanton in the USA AND yes.. pepsi ceo is a woman..etc and et all and yes i forgot Hillary and should i include Sarah Palin in the list too :)

    i am not sure which nation is that enlightened - where women are treated - not as weak ..

    you know.. i know someone who made a quote for his mom :"a component of a vector can never be bigger than the vector itself ": - well, Fennyman and Gandhi existed - because there was some women - who gave birth to them..

    no no no.. i am not suggesting moms get a nobel - and their kids go on a diaper - that would be Arnies movie :)

    women - should not be shown -> this -> "i got the power" -> that is all.. I dont subscribe to the feminist views of the women - especially in the USA - where women have to be - somewhat like a man (my understanding - of their view - a view i dont claim to know a lot of }

    if women are shown - power and are subjugated - and she cries -> then:

    [a] shame on men -> where is their "manliness" ?is their manliness - confined to "my dad can beat your dad " or is it "my penis is bigger than yours" or "yo dude - check it our Jack gulped all of that pitcher in a go ... think your man enough to beat him on his game" -> IS this the culture - we talked about ? I have that canvas and that imagery - maybe i am biased - > find that man - who was man enough to fight for a cause - a cause - he said.. he bellieved in

    [b] shame on men applies to ALL men regardless of their religion, geography, culture, nation and more..

    [c] shame should especially be attributeed to the following men:

    [1] men who knew me - and didnt give me right advise..
    [2] men who are russian - origin
    [3] men who are from middle east
    [4] men who are from that spiritual nation - which i cannot name - because they cry like sissies

    [5] other men too

    so.. now you have it ..

    anyway.. i am telling the truth.. not angry.. at men - but just showing the other side of the coin..
    not every woman has the courage to speak - why? - because a woman is TOLD - she has to live in this world and you know which world is this -

    a man's world ..

    if i have long hair - i have to cut it - why? - do u know? profesional IMAGE - is being talked about

    its forced on not just me- but also on women.. many women.. so someone has to speak for women..

    so i am speaking about the pressures - and the genocide of a soul - by everyone - everyone - who sits on the sides line s- and says : "its not my problem" - " its not my responsibility"

    a woman is the mother of a man - or no?

    Barack Obama said something that was profound -now he is a good man .. he said
    " Michelle (his wife) has a right for betaing me up" something like that - you can check on or i will find that video and post it on your blog - for an example of a good man..

    he respects his wife.. and women in general -

    there are some other men - who do - i guess you do too..

    point is not - about 60s, ann arbor , and hait ashbury - the point is now even about euqality - { mom is not same as dad - ya know:)}

    the point is not even about southern methodist and the bibble belt on videos - or the popes and their scandals..
    the point is -(at least my point}

    is -
    this ->

    what does it MEAN to be a man ?

    and if it means -> protect a woman - not show power - then i am happy and i dont care if i vote or not (i dont acre who wins )

    that is the point: one word -> DONT SHOW POWER TO OLGA

    those are 5 words - but they are strong - crass and visceral : they arent cerebral --

    power does not mean hitler or stalin (both had power) - power means - to not show power on someone you KNOW - cant find with you

    power means - fighting the beast - the tiger -not fighting a gazelle .. and espcially from the behind..

    thats all..

    hope you understand and be a man.,.

    and also .. being a man also means -> even if i am wrong - i am 23 .. i am a girl for god;'s sake - let me -win - yes even if i am wrong.. yes.. that would be christiannesque -

    now - i have somethings to do..

    olga lednichenko
    from nesher-israel

    ps: sorry if i said something that you didnt like

    I will let you win Olga. Thanks for your musings, it was interesting to read.

    But some great women, like Madame Curie and Jane Goodall and Susan Blackmore and Anita Goel ( and many, many others, were also born from women (with a little help from their husbands).

    You are totally correct, though, that women need to be given exactly the same treatment and opportunities that men have. Everywhere. They must (and should, where they're not) be treated as equals. This is *sort of* happening, or starting to happen, in some parts of the world. However, in other parts of the world, the abuse and the suffering that is being caused upon women by stupid, horrible, primitive men and their primitive cultures is... undescribably sad. I know. You are totally correct. I have no further comment about that, it is too hard of an image to swallow, and it is an extremely difficult problem to tackle. But nonetheless we must keep up the good fight.

    Good night.

    Well.. yes, maybe I should've said just "erotic porn". But "the story" told in those novels women typically like to read, is often erotic AND romantic.

    But those old Emmanuelle movies told stories, didn't they? Quite simple, but... nothing like today's porn! They certainly toyed with eroticism. But that alone wouldn't work today. However, regular nice 'romantic' movies, of good or great quality (acting, etc.), in which people also have sex openly, is something not easily found for sure. Firstly, because it must be hard as hell to find good actors/actresses for these!

    part of the problem is naming

    I watch/read erotica, whereas you, a man, watch/read porn -- even if it;s the same item.

    It's interesting to me that the word porn has slipped it's sexual limits and is now applying to other movies, like torture-porn or gorno

    basically any movie where the plot is merely a framework and the characters are just players and the whole point of the movie is violence, or special effects

    porn has changed to refer to a movie where one aspect is the entire purpose, without plot or character arcs

    The other part of is the social brainwashing women have been subjected to - nice girls don't

    We need to stop stigmatizing porn, and especially stop stigmatizing sex.

    I'd rather kids see porn than violence in movies and video games - at least, sex is something you want them to be involved with at some point in their lives.

    Thanks for posting that video Andrea. Nice.

    I agree with you on your last comment, Nina.

    Olga, what do you mean by more "visual" here?

    by visual i meant - just that..

    anything that triggers - those hormones - the author is mentioning is sensory and the input is through the occipital condyle -passes - through the eyes - > hence visual

    my english is not that good - so i may have spelt something wrong

    anyway.. men are MORE visual than women .. doesnt mean women are not visual

    just that men - in my -opinion - are more attracted to - sensory data (read breasts and ass - sorry if its some other acronymn for this taa?}

    than are women.

    i dont understand many psychologies - i do get the evolutionary explanation easier :

    women = have to take care of kids -=> have to raise kids => need stability => other things matter too
    men = a phallic symbol (loves to boast - and lie - how many chicks he went to bed with -> dont bet - your farm, i have the database to prove my ascertain and yes it means logs as well) _ so for men -> its TITS AND ASS - i guyess

    ps: when i say men - i dont mean 0- every men -> just as that video - doesnt mean to imply for every man .. similaryly when i say women .. it doesnt mean every woman..

    because i know many women, especially and unfortunately from the eastern european nations - buy this pop-TV - ya know ? :) soap opera shit -> and well, you may not beleive this - but some men - are paying - for the distortions - and all this - that the TV sells as psychology

    sorry for the bad choice of words - havent slept - funny thing - want to sleep - but cant sleep -> wow - and thanks to psychology - especially the pop kind - the one that makes the waves

    sorry sorry.. just a human being i am.. but working more than a robot -- does ..

    cheers and regards
    olga lednichenko
    from nesher-israel

    ps: one day you will know what i mean .. it would be late - honey

    Olga writes:
    women = have to take care of kids -=> have to raise kids => need stability => other things matter too
    men = a phallic symbol (loves to boast - and lie - how many chicks he went to bed with -> dont bet - your farm, i have the database to prove my ascertain and yes it means logs as well) _ so for men -> its TITS AND ASS - i guyess

    In fact, more accurately, evolutionarily speaking, it was not in the interest of the women to have many children, since if they did they would have trouble putting up enough of their resources into too many kids, and all would suffer (men could not always be counted on to stick around, sort o like today...); plus, women can only make a limited number of children in their lifetime anyway, since their number of eggs and years with enough strength (and milk) to raise children are counted... (thus it is important to play games more, make sure it is good sperm, genetically speaking, and also hopefully that the guy is enough into you to stick around after you're having his kids...)

    ...while men have that impulse or tendency because they have an endless supply of sperm... and it is in their selfish genes' best interest to multiply as far and wide as possible: plant as many seeds as possible, and don't waste any resources on them. Also, it is good for the genes to mix up in different gene pools, instead of mixing with other genes which are too similar, in order to create supergenes... immune to more diseases, etc.

    This is all made obsolete by the use of birth control methods now... but our instincts are still tuned to pay attention to the ancient stimuli, and act as if we were in the wild.


    yes, females cant abandon their kids.: there is a reason why we dont have a phrase and a database for "dead-beat-mothers" while both the phrase and the database exists for 'dead-beat-fathers'.

    I think abouyt it - from a payoffs - standpoint -..model it through game theory : like below:

    [a] its a case of information asymmetry { women know less about the men than do men about men and vice versa}

    [b] on top of [a] above -> men's payoff - as you mentioned (spreading their genes) as not aligned with those of the women and men lie : i mean - every profile on a dating site - responds - as being "kind, charming nice , romantic, loyal et all .. how is a woman to know - what exactly is her place in the man's world - is its "slam bam thank you man" or is it " romance - followed by - marriage - for most women - at least - marriage is the goal}

    [c] to find out -> she has a difficult task - when its a game - of not only information asymmetry and dissimilar payoffs (read agenda) but also -> a case of difficulty in evaluating the choices.. {all are great supermen... and all have the same virtues checked off in ther profiles}

    [d] what would be the sign for a woman to know -> if say a man X - is fitting the bill - the list { THIS IS WHERE THE ROMANCE AND RELATIONSHIP GUIDES - help or hurt - } anyway..

    to do the above a - b - c - d -> it takes : [a] a deisre TO find out and [b] a yard stick - once you have found - somnething - how do u know that (i) this is waht u wanted and (ii) how do u know i am sure that he is the one?

    both 1 and 2 - take time - skills - tricks - and what not -> this is what we call - dating-mating game. ..

    so.. thats - my way of understanding and modeling the problem. that explains differential impacts between men and women..

    i think yes.. women can only have a finitenumber of kids

    olga lednichenko
    nesher israel

    Gerhard Adam
    Okay, I'm going to have to weigh in a bit even if this position may be politically incorrect.  I can appreciate the fact that much of our modern culture and laws have favored men, and I certainly agree that there needs to be greater equity between the genders.  However having said that there is a fundamental problem that everyone seems to ignore
    yes, females cant abandon their kids.: there is a reason why we dont have a phrase and a database for "dead-beat-mothers" while both the phrase and the database exists for 'dead-beat-fathers'.
    Every time I hear this, it makes me cringe, because it's always about women having to raise their kids and be responsible for their kids (of course, it also makes me cringe because it's a sexist stereotype, but that's another topic).  However, we need to extend this idea to its logical conclusion ... namely ... who do you think is teaching the kids these values? 

    Whether anyone likes it or not, the biggest enemy to female equality is other females.  It was the female movement in the U.S. that pretty well killed the Equal Rights Amendment.  Certainly men were the ones that passed the laws, but they would've buckled if there had been unity among the women.  However once Schafly and her group got vocal, it provided sufficient cover for the men to stop the passage of the amendment.

    Women are also the majority gender in the U.S., so it's a little hard to feel sympathetic for a group that represents the majority and yet can't reach a consensus on how to improve their own position within that society.

    I was raised by a strong woman and have strong women in my family.  These women were neither aggressive, nor belligerent, but instead they were tough and persistent in doing what they wanted/needed to do.  So, I'm a bit put off by the perpetual whining that seems to permeate too many women's rationalizations about why they aren't successful.   If a woman is waiting for a man to give her the opportunity to succeed, then she simply doesn't understand what it means to be tough or strong.

    Mundus vult decipi
    Andrea Kuszewski
    Bravo, Gerhard.

    I don't fit female stereotypes myself. Maybe men or women have had expectations of me that are sexist, but I have always done what I wanted, despite society's views on gender. I think that is how you need to look at it. Don't feel like you are locked into some arbitrary position in life because of your sex organs; do what you aspire to.
    Abso-blooming-lutely!! Big thumbs up from me, on that Aitch
    I agree for the most part, Gerhard. Particularly in civilized or modern societies... Women should take a stand. Take control. Fight back any sexist disparities or stereotypes, instead of whining about it.

    Sure, teach their kids modernity and equality and all the good stuff.

    However, in many parts of the world, in those huge expanses of backwardness... I think it is very, very hard for so many women, oppressed by their cultures and male-dominated societies, sometimes even facing death penalties for speaking or acting out, for even talking to another man... (which may be interpreted as something else), to break the chain of abuse. And that's what I was referring to in earlier posts here. Those are the women who most need protection and education and support, and the ones which are harder for us to reach and help - physically, or even simply psychologically, by helping them educated themselves and turn their situation around, 'beat' those nasty men and their cultures' norms. It is hard to get the right 'cultural software' to be available for them to consume and get inspiration from.

    Particularly when they are indoctrinated since childhood to be virtual slaves to those scary men. Typically kept totally in the dark, culturally, often not being able to read or write. Or physically, behind a burqa, or at home 95% of the time. Isolation, desperation, fear... everyday stuff. That's the type of abuse that I was referring to, that is indescribably sad to contemplate, and not easy to fix.

    In some of these societies, as you know, a woman can't easily get away from a situation or a marriage without risking her life. And calling the police won't help, since they'll only gang up with the husband, or call the 'vice squad' to find out why you're out of line.

    But I totally advocate women to be strong, take a stand, take control of their lives, gang up on men, defend their rights, teach their kids good values, kick some ass... whatever needs to be done... I'm totally with you there.

    I agree completely with you.

    Women are our own worst enemy.

    The people who benefit from the "girls you marry and girls you have fun with" mentality

    are the girls who shred other girl's reputuations, so they can appear to be the marriable ones.

    Why shouldn't a man want to marry a girl he can have fun with?

    Ann Coulter wants to take away women's votes.

    IF she thinking women should be stay at home, then what's she doing on the lecture circuit?

    Gerhard Adam
    Ann Coulter's in a category all her own.  After all, she might actually be bonafide proof of a human speciation event.
    Mundus vult decipi
    I'm pretty sure I stay pretty normal when attractive women are around.
    Part of that could be that I'm not attracted to them.

    Hey Gerhard:
    I'd like to point out that Olga is actually wrong on that point you quoted. Women do abandon their kids, especially when there's a father around, and have done so in the past. Of course this used to be rare BUT not unheard of. 

    Secondly, there is now a database in America, at least, for dead beat mothers.,2933,59963,00.html

    I guess it's also a big problem in the U.K. as well -

    I thought I'd just tip the scales a bit back to reality, in the wake of the anti-male torrent.
    the myth that women are sainted victims and men are abusers really needs to be done away with,

    Some women do abandon their children and husbands, some women have abused their husbands and children (physically and sexually) and some women have murdered their children and/or husbands.

    women are not saints or victims, women are participants

    its sad that you have to consider the absurd possibility that someone would be _offended_ by this. its cool by the way, and very true

    I agree that Gerhard's stance is cool I think most intelligent people realise we all have sensibilities, but to expect some twerp of a public servant [?] to protect us with political correctness, well, it's just incorrect! ;-) Learning to deal with stuff, is part of maturity, and I cannot see a justification for keeping people fed a diet of immaturity as a way of coping with life! I'm not usually PC, but I can apologise if I offend.....if I need to, that is... Aitch
    Rich Shull

    Wow, as a gay guy that "can't even think straight" I have got an education reading this and the comments.  Straight sex and relations seem just as complicated as the gay sex is. Then add parenting  to the mix and there is even more to the deal.  

    Ironically men of all types seem to have one trait they think wth their "penis" before they use their brain. LOL  I wonder why mother nature programmed us like this?  rich

    I beleive that the line is that men have enough blood to run one or the other, but not both penis and brain

    Despite any comments about obviousness or cuteness, note that this has real-world implications on the question of women in the military and combat situations, a topic currently being debated.

    Sounds like Miss A has men issues, aka: manhater. :)

    Quentin Rowe
    For me, there is an old joke that sums it all, I think it was from Robin Williams? It goes something along these lines...

    God blessed man with a brain and a penis - but only enough blood to operate one at a time

    Well, as a man, this joke cuts right to the bone, as all good humor is close to the truth!

    Relating this to the "What would penis do?" clip's observations, I note that the heart is the organ supplying the fuel to both the brain and the penis. What to make of this? It seems the heart leads on all counts...
    This is the one rational reason of why Muslims separate men and women, why they wrap the women up to not excite the men visually and all that: "If women are present, the devil is present." (not sure whether this is written in some holy book; it was explained to me personally many years ago)
    This can be interpreted in many ways, but it does not imply that women are devils. The devil is just present in the men whenever women are present.
    When women hit menopause or sooner - when their mothering instinct is fulfilled - they too can behave like penis, and, hopefully, do. If they keep attractive to themselves, they can wield the power you describe here: and that is immensely great fun. When we can't get pregnant either, when what we do doesn't impact on our ability to maintain a prime relationship, then we are on a level playing field with penis. What fun!