Equations relating speed and mass go back to Newton and beyond.
But what about relating speed and MESS?
Simply, how fast should you expect a clean kids' room to get messy?
Friends Jonathan Liu and John Booth brought me the question and did the better part of the brainstorming and I did the factor slapping, to produce the collaborative equation below. Plug in your family's numbers to discover how many square feet per hour your kid's room will accumulate non-traversable junk. For the über geeks out there, keep reading below the equation for more mathematical sweetness you can do with the Speed of Mess.
Here, for your practical use and cerebral edification is the mathematically certain (wink, wink) Speed of Mess:
• K#= The number of kids playing in the room
• KA= The average age of K#
• KB1= Is one of K# a boy between ages 6 and 13? Enter 1 for yes and 0 for no.
• KB2= Enter age of boy between 6 and 13. These are the planet's messiest beasts.
• F= Fodder: Generally, how much junk (toys, clothes, books, reptiles, etc.) does your child's room contain? 1-10 with 10 being Lloyd from the show Hoarders
• N= In days, the newness of any single game, toy, or book
• PE= Parental energy: 1-10 with 1 being "new baby" and 10 being "methamphetamines"
• PS= Parental strictness: 1-10 with 10 being Sir, yes sir! and 1 being Duuuude!
• T= In Fahrenheit, the temperature outdoors (add 25 "degrees" for sleddable snow)
• S= Storage: 1-10 with 10 being wire bins to the ceilings and ample closet space and 1 being bare, padded room (though let me also point out the usefulness of the latter)
• C= Percentage of occupied time in which K are using a computer, TV, game console or other screen-based entertainment
SOM is the square feet per hour that your kids' room will collect mess that precludes passage. Max for three, 10-year-old boys with no storage, lax, exhausted parents and lots o' stuff is 85.33 ft^2/hr and min for one, 17-year-old with strict, energetic parents, with little stuff and ample storage (on a nice day, etc.) is 0.21 ft^2/hr.
Further mathematical sweetness:
Notice that the speed of mess is like a velocity. By calculating "velocities" for each hour in a single day and summing these velocities, you could discover how many square feet of junk accumulates per day (those willing to get down with calc could do it more accurately). Then, using the total area of the room and the percentage coverage at which point you go batty, you could calculate how often you need to instigate a massive cleaning effort (MCE). There's lotsa other cool stuff you could do with SOM—any suggestions?
--Brain Candy: Science, Puzzles, Paradoxes, Logic and Illogic to Nourish Your Neurons
- PHYSICAL SCIENCES
- EARTH SCIENCES
- LIFE SCIENCES
- SOCIAL SCIENCES
Subscribe to the newsletter
Stay in touch with the scientific world!
Know Science And Want To Write?
- The Number Of My Publications Has Four Digits
- Metal Hip Replacements Implanted Since 2006 More Prone To Failure
- Does lower literacy make you a sucker for online health ads?
- Professor Frenkel: Why Shouldn't We Drop Algebra From Our Education System?
- Matter Can Potentially Accelerate The Expansion Of The Universe
- Unique Fragment From Earth’s Formation Returns Home
- Why Fraternal Twins Run In Families
- "Even using Wikipedia, an illustration of the conventional prejudice on the matter energy density..."
- "In Reading University Library there is a most interesting book Felix Klein and Sophus Lie by I..."
- "Correction (will merge this into the article later): Orange dwarf stars have lifetimes of 15 -..."
- "Lobos, after what you say about academia, I still wander why you keep the Harvard Veritas coat..."
- "For a pedagogical introduction to the Friedmann equations, see for instance this set of lectures..."
- Parents' presence at bedside found to decrease neonatal abstinence syndrome severity
- Breastfeeding app shows promise in supporting first-time mothers
- Study shows asthma-related Twitter posts can predict rise in hospital visits
- Mental health diagnoses rise significantly for military children
- Combination of face-to-face and online bullying may pack a powerful punch