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    Faster Than Light Neutrino Puts New 'Pep' In Pepsi
    By Garth Sundem | April 1st 2012 07:45 AM | 8 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
    About Garth

    Garth Sundem is a Science, Math and general Geek Culture writer, TED speaker, and author of books including Brain Trust: 93 Top Scientists Dish the...

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    Fresh from ironing out the mechanical difficulties in the faster-than-light neutrino, CERN and OPERA have licensed the technology to soda giant Pepsi, which will use neutrinos instead of dissolved carbon dioxide to create the drink's iconic fizz.

    "This truly is the choice of a new generation," says Pepsi CEO, Indra Nooyi.

    The partnership comes on the heels of a difficult month for OPERA during which the faster-than-light particle made headlines, then appeared to be the product of loose fiber-optic cables connecting a GPS unit to a computer. The apparent gaff resulted in the resignation of the overseeing physicist, Antonio Eriditato. But after replacing the faulty fiber-optics with slightly undercooked capellini, Eriditato and OPERA were able to replicate the transmission sans error, confirming the particle's velocity from Geneva to Italy as faster than Einstein's speed limit -- "Really, very damn fast," says CERN director Rolph Dieter-Heuer.

    "I told you so," says Eriditato, adding that each can of Pepsi powered by a faster-than-light particle has only a 6.42*10^-8 chance of ending the universe upon opening.

    The group hopes the corporate partnership will allow further exploration of faster-than-light particles, with OPERA hot on the trail of a faster-than-faster-than-light neutrino. This second speedy particle, which showed up at OPERA *before* transmission from Geneva, may not have "traveled" in the traditional sense of the word at all -- instead, researchers propose that it popped out of existence in Geneva and then reanimated a split millisecond *earlier* in Geneva.

    This new particle's cleft-apple shape and ability to defy that apparent laws of man and nature led to the particle's early nickname, the Kardashian.

    Comments

    You don't mention whether this has been tested for safety in terms of human health? Do you not this would be a major concern? If it hasn't been tested, I would at least expect an article purporting to be scientific to say so. Maybe you don't realise how worried people are becoming these days about what's being put in their food. Granted those that drink Pepsi are unlikely to be health fanatics, but they still won't want to die an early death through overdosing on neutrinos. Perhaps you could let us know?

    Garth Sundem
    Thanks for your comment, Ishtar, and your concern is duly noted. I strongly suggest you Google around a bit for the significance of this day in American culture, lest you have an exceedingly confusing day.

    Garth Sundem, TED speaker, Wipeout loser and author of Brain Trust

    Aaaaahhhh! LOL! So sorry.. the same significance pertains in the UK, but when I read this, it was past 12 midday, after which all April Fools have to own up! LOL! Well done. You really got me. However, I may have been more sceptical when I read it if I wasn't so aware, as I am, of how little testing GM foods have undergone before they hit the market, and so knowing this propensity for the food industry to do what the hell they like to our food, I thought this was just one more horrifying example! Thank you. You've given me a good laugh! Have a nice day.

    Hank
    If neutrinos are genetically modifying your potatoes, that would be a true revolution in science. However, I think people should be just as worried about neutrino genetic modification as they are every other kind.  Not at all.
    BDOA
    Ha ha, but isn't it well known that sonoluministic bubble achieve the ultra high temperatures, form the compression of the fifth force between neutrinos, as the bubble they where escaping Fermi pressure in collapses the temperature rises to match the neutrino Fermi temperature.
    BDOA Adams, Axitronics
    Garth Sundem
    Yes. That's exactly right. I couldn't have said it better myself.

    Garth Sundem, TED speaker, Wipeout loser and author of Brain Trust

    Hank
    "I told you so," says Eriditato, adding that each can of Pepsi powered by a faster-than-light particle has only a 6.42*10^-8 chance of ending the universe upon opening.
    Classic! Though I am a 6.0221415 x 1023 man myself. That is why I drink Coke.
    I understand that Pepsi decided not to use Higgs bosons, as the drink would be too fattening.