Harken back to the dark days of 2003, when vampire sagas were not yet all the rage.  NPR has the details on vampire public relations blitzes in the last part of this decade.

To: VampsPR
Fr: Fritz
Re: PR issues

PR Team,

As we talked about last week at the annual retreat, it seems like we haven't made a significant PR push in quite some time. Buffy THE TRAMP LIAR-SAYER has finally gone off the air, but we are at a cultural crossroads. Vampires need to be the "next big thing."

Ideas? Thx.

To: Fritz, VampsPR
Fr: Steve
Re: Re: PR issues

Fritzie,

I've heard that an up and coming novelist is planning a romance series (set in the Pacific Northwest, I believe) in which a girl is caught between a werewolf and a clown. I'm wondering whether, with proper outreach, she could be persuaded to replace the werewolf with a vampire.

... and the rest is just as funny!

H/T Jennifer Ouellette at Cocktail Party Physics.