In a Nature paper published Oct. 26 by Sicardy et al from the Universite Pierre et Marie Curie in Paris, Pluto was promoted to the ninth largest body orbiting the Sun. Its evil dwarf doppelganger Eris, though very similar in size, was found to be slightly smaller and was therefore relegated back to the Kuiper Belt league.

In a press conference, Pluto was accompanied by Uranus and Neptune. "I am glad the controversy has been put to rest", he noted. "But I still would like to be classified as a planet. We want to take on the mighty triumverate of Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn."