Pumpkin warning: to be read before midnight.

http://arxiv.org/abs/0903.5321
Cracked has the latest 5 scientific reasons why people act like, umm, jerks. (If crassness bothers you don't click that link! If you think crass is funny, then what are you waiting for?). Reason 1: angry people get more attention:
Scoop!  ScientificBlogging Exclusive!

Your intrepid investigative reporter can exclusively report the finding of an unpublished complete proof of the Riemann Hypothesis.  The key document was only discovered during a routine stock-taking following the takeover of Scicenceblogs by ScientificBlogging announced earlier.
We're always looking for new ways to add value to the science community.   Sure, other sites may offer the usual boring job placement listings or forums on how to write effective grant proposals, but we all know how to get jobs.   

What not everyone knows is how to get a date.   

So  today we are unveiling our newest feature for the science community; the Scientific Blogging Dating Service.    

Hi, I am The Science Ninja.    When I am not killing people with my pinky, I am doing awesome science experiments, like how to kill people with my pinky.

Because I am also scientifically awesome, people have a lot of questions, so I thought I would answer them here.

Q:  How are you able to kill regular people from 100 yards away by being totally sweet?

Can you remember great jokes? I know I can't. Now I know why - the greatest jokes work by subverting usual thought patterns, making them less memorable but funnier, according to the Daily Telelgraph. A final twist and surprise in the joke makes us remember the punchline, but forget the run-up to the gag.

Let's take a little test, shall we?

The Telegraph's example of a bad joke:
What do you call a judge with no thumbs? Justice Fingers.

The Telegraph's example of a "better" joke:
UC Berkeley Paleontologist Kevin Padian (also president of the National Center for Science Education) reviews Jerry Coyne's book Why Evolution is True in PLoS Biology. While he praises the book for for its clarity and well-chosen examples, Padian argues that Coyne, in a book that uses the word 'true' in the title', didn't actually talk enough about what truth is:
How bad science can make you feel really good.

There is some really wonderful bad science to be found out there in the wierd world web.  More wonderful than the bad site is the good site that gives insight, laced with humour, into the wierdness of the bad sites.

Phil Plait, the creator of Bad Astronomy, is an astronomer, lecturer, and author.  He is also a very astute observer of human nature and is one very witty dude.  For some moments of absolute hilarity I strongly recommend his blog Bad Astronomy and especially crankocentrism.
Mission Madness got personal. Perhaps it was the SPB ballooning of votes, perhaps it is simply inherent in any popularity contest like this. With only three rounds let to go (vote early, vote often!), the epithets are flying. Match the quote below with its quarterfinalist mission! Trash Talk
  1. "a mission to cold, dead rocks"
  2. "biologically infested mission"
  3. "biologically infested mission"
  4. "hasn't launched yet"
  5. don't even count as [a] mission!
  6. "It either deflates or explodes"