Finally! Science Rap Music For Children
    By Hayley Mann | April 1st 2009 02:00 AM | 18 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
    About Hayley

    In 2006, I graduated from UC Davis with a degree in Genetics and Anthropology. I've had the privilege of working for various laboratories conducting...

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    With all the "bro's" and "ho's" we hear about in the rap world, I think it's safe to say that as a society, we all agree that the rap industry could use a drastic image change.  Furthermore, if that image change could include an educational aspect, then that would definitely be beneficial for our children. 

    Just imagine, all the cool and funky beats of rap music coupled with the wholesome words we use in science class.  What a concept!  And please, don't be hatin' on me because you didn't think of it first.

    To lead this movement, I nominate Tampa's own Steven Rush, also known as, "Funky49."  Funky is the self proclaimed Rap Ambassador of Tampa's Museum of Science and Industry (MOSI).  Funky49 takes pride in his hella tight Beastie Boy-ish style.

    "I always love a reference between me and the Beastie Boys," Funky explains.

    Recently, Funky49 released the album, Rapbassador, to promote MOSI exhibits.  In my opinion, Funky's music be bump'n and he knows how to bring the house down with such raps as, "Your Body Is A World," and "Still Nerdy."  However, my all time favorite Funky49 raps are release exclusively on his website, "Intergalactic Pizza Party" and "Rape Iz Foul."

    "MOSI got the party if you party with science," Funky49 raps.

    Funky49 and MOSHIAn interesting point, kids most definitely should be partying with science at museums, not with Paris Hilton in sleazy clubs like the ones you see on the E! channel.  Funky49's music could revolutionize the rap industry while being a positive stimulus for our young ones.

    Because Dolly Parton, Cher and Tom Jones are not part of the rap genre, I realize that some of's readers may not be familiar with actual rap lyrics our kids are listening to these days.  Therefore, I would like to compare and contrast the wholesome and invigorating style of Funky49's rap music versus today's rap industry lyrics.

    Here are some Funky49 lyrics about MOSI's IMAX theater:

    I max, you max, relax at the IMAX
    Obscene screen of your dreams
    Even make an esteemed man scream
    Whatever your home's got, don't be pissed
    Because it cannot compare to this, got
    Curva-ture, like a fine girl
    Step inside the IMAX world, screen
    Ginormous Ar-gen-tino-saurus

    However, if Funky49 was producing a LP under a Los Angeles Rap industry music label, his lyrics would have been something like this:

    Wussup max, yo max, relax and pass it max
    Obscene green of yo dreams
    Even makes a home boy cream
    Player don't be hatin', you just got dissed
    'Cause I ain't said nuff'n 'cept this, gotz
    Curva-ture, like a fine ass machine gun
    Step inside my pad max, scream
    Ginormous cool-Satan-o-saurus

    Do you see the shocking difference between lyrics?  Funky49's rap song talks about an enjoyable experience at an IMAX theater that always shows educational films.  This is in contrast to the modern rap version which includes drug and sex innuendos, dissing (which leads to hurting people's feelings), guns, making Satan sound cool, and not to mention it's loaded with improper grammar.

    Now do you understand why we need to promote Funky49 as our new science music rap ambassador? Well, just in case you don't, here is another example as illustrated with Funky49's "Still Nerdy" rap song:

    My pipe twenty mega bits thick
    Download torrents with the quickness
    Witness drive overflow with mad data
    IDE to SATA, look at me I made a
    Life form computer geeker while stayin'
    Stay'n alive, head still high with pride
    Check the girl by my side, in my ride
    My cutie, my wifey, you know that she's still nerdy

    As opposed to a real rap industry version:

    My pipe be twenty feet high
    Upload smoke with hella quickness
    Witness protection program 'cause my homie is mad
    IPE to COLT 45, look at me while I drive
    Life don't include school where I'm playn'
    Makin' amphetamine, head still high with Sudafed
    Check the girl next to me, she be dead
    Was once my possie, my shorty, but she was too damn wordy

    Funky49 MOSHIAs you can clearly see once again, Funky49's version includes sophiscated computer lingo and even professes his monogamous love for his highly intelligent wife. 

    However, in the industry rap version drugs, being in trouble with the wrong crowd, drunk driving, not going to school, and women who speak their minds should be punished is discussed instead of productive activites. 

    Obviously, you're on board now with my plea for a rap industry make-over.

    I know we all think Funky49 is hella cool, but perhaps you're concerned that our children won't think so.  Well, don't worry about that because in the music video "Milk&Doo Doo", Funky49 really gets funky.

    In the video we observe how every one is having fun with just milk instead of malt liquor.  Also, it is clearly proven that Funky is extremely cool because he has lots of pretty girls hanging out with him.

    Now that you've read about the real dangers of rap music and seen the Funkster in a music video, I encourage you to take action.  As soon as your child goes to school, go through all of their personal belongings and get rid of their Snoop Dog, Eminen, Tupac, Lil' Wayne, and Hannah Montana CD's (leave Kanye West CD's though, he's doing the lord's work).  Finally, replace those filthy CD's with Funky49's Rapbassador album.

    Your children may not like this, in fact, they might even hate you for it.  But the day they graduate from Harvard University instead of the University of Compton, they'll thank you for ridding their lives of such nonsense and replacing it with music that even a Walmart in Utah would approve of.

    Because you know I like to keep it real, I'd like to summarize my article Funky49-style:

    Yo my name is Hayley and I'm here to say
    American kids are brain washed each day
    Today's Rap music has  gotsta go
    Should be replaced by lyrics without words like ho
    Take it from me, the hippest scientist in town,
    You know I've got the bestest rec'mendations 'round
    Funky's music is tight so let's unite
    Force your kids to listen to Funky so they turn out right!


    Reee spek ! U da baddest !

    Milton say God make Man outa mud,
    Now Huxley say Man made o monkey blood;
    So de mud turn to monkey and de monkey turn to man,
    And datsa way God fix it before de world began!

    Observe how every one is having fun with just milk instead of malt liquor. Also, we can clearly see that Funky is extremely cool because he has lots of pretty girls hanging out with him.
    These are not just pretty girls.   I like how in this video a visual fabric is maintained even while the metaphor plays on different levels.   This may be bold but I think Stephanie Carding, Bianca Grassi,Amy Meyer,Yanielle Montero and Trista Trelles-Heard should get some kind of Academy Award for their performance.

    What class do women take in college where they all learn stripper moves?   When I was in school girls jumped around in apoplectic fits, thanks to Flashdance.  Kids today must be a lot smarter than we were.
    Ah, Hank has an interest in the ladies of "Milk & Doo Doo"!

    I'm sure you know that Tampa is the strip club capital of the world, but none of the dancers are strippers. Each have had experience dancing for a Tampa-based professional sports team. All of them were restricted from doing anything obscene by that sports team and my own vision of the music video.

    Still Nerdy,


    Thank you so much for this awesome and lengthy article! I love it! Please email me, I would love to mail you a copy of my album, Starblazer (available on iTunes/CDBaby/Amazon/etc).

    still nerdy,

    Alternate Allele

    ...Starblazer (available on iTunes/CDBaby/Amazon/etc).

    OMG Funky49!!! That sounds like you're plugging your album on this website!  Simply shameful.

    I dunno about you sending me your new album, I did get quite a fill listening to your other music and I'm still digesting.

    But what the heck, I'll take some Tums... My e-mail is

    It may be April 1st, but this is no joke. Kudos to funky49 for using rhyme to bring illumination instead of just frustration. (and of course, kudos to Hayley's mention for bringing it to greater attention.)

    Great article! Very creative music!


    Screen cap of our ad:   I guess Google decided white girls can't dance either.

    Was that accurate targeted advertising for you Hank? I got an ad for an online IT degree... which is wack because I already have a BS in Management of Information Systems!


    already have a BS in Management of Information Systems!
    Funky49:  my filing system and my hard drive are filled to overflowing with BS.   :)

    Which is why I use ad-blockers!
    Well, we have real ads but in that one spot we have Google to, you know, keep it real.   I'm still Hank from the block.

    Google got that big some way or another so if they say black girls are relevant in an article about a white man being read by a white man, on a science site, who am I to argue?
    Patrick Lockerby: I thought about using Adblock for Firefox but what's driving without Burma Shave signs? How else can you get 'punch the monkey' jokes and know the joys of X10 cameras?

    Funky49: I take your point.  Unfortunately, I use a low screen resolution since I prefer larger fonts.  It suits the way I type.  So many sites have ads that are so intrusive as to hide the buttons they want me to click on.
    <<<<<<<<<<<<<< There they are, 3 feet to the left of my desk.  :)

    So I block all oh-you-so-want-me-to-come-over-there-and-teach-you-how-to-design-a-web-page annoyances.  You may have seen an angry young man, but brother, don't ever mess with an angry old one.  :-)
    Nice work, funky49. If you're looking for more science rap and pop songs, our science album recently won a 2009 Parents' Choice Award:
    Rhythm, Rhyme, Results | Science

    Robbie Mitchell
    Rhythm, Rhyme, Results

    This comes from a 14 years kid.WTF???Awww, c'mon!I don't agree with this. As long as the kid aint chekin the parents, why should they throw the children's CDz, because then we could throw theirs too, no? What'z wrong with Compton, Em, and TUPAC???Parentz should learn that the kids aint robots, and the music transmits the freedom of will, cuz all the kids cant listen everytime only Beethoven, Schopenhauer, or how good it is to drink milk instead of a 40 oz., get it? And pay some respect to Tupac, cuz he wasnt just a crazed man, he was a good person, considered bad for tellin that sumthin is wrong with this world, jus like Em and Snoop, who are real rappers, now diss him cuz he died.:P

    Oh, I almost forgot! How could you compare this everythin but not rapper to Snoop?lol!!! Hey FunkyPunky69, do you know what an O.G. is? It could be a good start to u, hella funky n cool busta/rapper!:-)

    If you want educational rap listen to "artist: immortal technique song: the 3rd world" or "artist:dead preaz song: propaganda" songs by artist like these will teach our children more then the school system can