Humor

“A man walks into a men’s room…” No, it’s not the beginning of a joke, it’s the beginning of a scholarly paper presented in Lecture Notes in Computer Science, 2010, Volume 6099/2010, pp. 284-295.

To continue :

    “A man walks into a men’s room and observes n empty urinals. Which urinal should he pick so as to maximize his chances of maintaining privacy, i.e., minimize the chance that someone will occupy a urinal beside him?”
Jolts from Volts

I have almost finished my translation of Volta's original article on his pile and his crown of cups.

Most of the article is a straightforward description of his experiments, but I thought I would highlight this rather humorous paragraph, and my translation of it, in which Volta places metal probes in his ears and connects them to his newly invented battery:
It was no less than Aristotle himself who wondered “Why are the stones on the seashore which are called pebbles round, when they are originally made from long stones and shells?” In typical Aristotlean fashion, he not only asked the question, but went on to provide a very plausible explanation (see appendix below) – one which lay untested for more than 2000 years. It now been verified in practice by professor Douglas Durian and his Durian Research Group at the University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, US.
Carbon Monoxide – dubbed “The Silent Killer” is a colourless and odourless gas – highly toxic to human beings. It’s a common pollutant in city air, coming mainly from vehicle exhaust emissions.

But what if “CO, in small doses, is a boon to the well-being of urbanites, better equipping them to deal with environmental stress”?

“Converging evidence indicates that blirtatiousness is unique in its ability to amplify people’s qualities, making these qualities more readily observable to perceivers.”

I’ve already mentioned the nonsensical paper “published” in (surprise, surprise) arXiv in which the authors claim that the origin of life occurred long before the origin of the Earth based on the application of Moore’s Law to DNA.

I won’t go into all the reasons that this is silly — for that, you can see critiques by PZ Myers and Massimo Pigliucci. Suffice it to say that the data, the analysis, and the interpretation are all problematic.

A team from the School of Family and Consumer Sciences at Eastern Illinois University have discovered a reliable method of persuading people to eat up to 50% less pistachio nuts – just leave them in their shells.
Some readers may well feel themselves in the dark when it comes to the usage of the interjection ‘oh’ in English and its translation in Catalan. Thus they could find a 2007 article published in the Catalan Journal of Linguistics, (Vol. 6, pp 117-136) of help.

The translation of oh in a corpus of dubbed sitcoms‘ is authored by  Dr. Anna Matamala, who is a Professora titular d’universitat, at the Departament de Traducció i d’Interpretació of the Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona, Spain.
“The stereotype of women’s limited parking skills is deeply anchored in modern culture.” But has rarely been scientifically investigated, prompting Claudia Wolf, M.Sc. and Sebastian Ocklenburg M.Sc. and colleagues at the Fakultät für Psychologie, Institut für Kognitive Neurowissenschaft, Abteilung Biopsychologie, Ruhr-Universität Bochum, Germany, to perform an experimental study.
“The modern drive towards mobility and wireless devices is motivating intensive research in energy harvesting technologies.” say two research fellows at Cranfield University in the UK, who are  currently examining the question – ‘Why not harvest energy from people’s knees?’