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    Men Forgive Girlfriends Who Cheat - If It's With A Woman
    By Hank Campbell | January 27th 2011 02:24 PM | 15 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
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    In the 'gay sex is bad unless it's women' cultural milieu, a survey by a University of Texas at Austin psychologist determined that men are more than twice as likely to continue dating a girlfriend who has cheated on them with another woman than if she cheated with another man.

    The survey used 700 college students so calibrate accordingly - men may not like their girlfriends sleeping with another guy but a girlfriend sleeping with another girl is a porn movie.

    But don't start yelling about young men.  While women were more likely to break off the relationship following both kinds of cheating, they really disliked a boyfriend's homosexual affair.  So, in a way, college age men are more tolerant than college age women.  At least about who can sleep around with whom.

    The survey in Personality and Individual Differences painted the scenario of a committed romantic relationship (including sex) with someone lasting three months. They were then asked how they would respond to infidelity committed by their partner but some of both genders were told their partners had been unfaithful with a man and others with a woman. Some were told their partners had an affair with one person, others with more than one, some were told the infidelity happened only once, others twice.

    Occurrences or numbers of partners aside, the study found that:
    • Men had a 50 percent likelihood of continuing to date a woman who had a homosexual affair but only a 22 percent likelihood of staying with her if she cheated with a man.

    • Women were more tolerant about a boyfriend sleeping with other women, 28 percent likelihood of continuing to date him, but a boyfriend who had a homosexual affair had a 79 percent likelihood of being kicked to the curb.
    Lead author Jaime Confer, doctoral candidate in evolutionary psychology, and Professor Mark Cloud, of Lock Haven University bizarrely try to make a biology case that men are more distressed by infidelity that could threaten their paternity of offspring.   College age men.  Offspring.   Yeah, instead of the obvious "it's a porn movie" thing that has nothing at all to do with evolution, no matter who much evolutionary psychologists want everything about sex to be biology.

    They further contend that men may also view a woman's homosexual affair as an opportunity to mate with more than one girl simultaneously.  Because evolutionary psychologists insist men have an inborn need to sleep with the planet.

    "These findings are even more remarkable given that homosexuality attitude surveys show men have more negative attitudes toward homosexuality and to be less supportive of civil rights for same-sex couples than women. However, this general trend of men showing lower tolerance for homosexuality than women is reversed  
    in the one fitness-enhancing situation—female homosexuality," say the authors.   

    It's true.  Machismo college age men may regard gay male sex as icky but not female gay sex, as long as the women are hot.  Science has no explanation for that, try as evolutionary psychology might try to make one.  Because it isn't a biology issue.

    They portray the female response stereotypically, stating that a boyfriend's homosexual affair might be regarded as a sign of dissatisfaction with the current relationship and a prelude to abandonment so they dump him first.    Whereas if he sleeps with another girl, he is just 'being a guy'.
     
    They did ask about the outcomes of any real-life infidelity experiences and the results matched those of the imagined ones - men were significantly more likely than women to have ended their actual relationships following a partner's presumably heterosexual affair.


    'Presumably' because if any of the men had girlfriends sleeping with other girls, they weren't telling.  Especially if they were allowed to 'mate' with both of them.

    Citation: Jaime C. Confer, Mark D. Cloud, 'Sex differences in response to imagining a partner’s heterosexual or homosexual affair', Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 50, Issue 2, January 2011, Pages 129-134 doi:10.1016/j.paid.2010.09.007 

    Comments

    Are all heterosexuals so mentally screwed up?

    to the poster Billy: Are all homosexuals so sarcastic? I was unaware that homosexuals were known to be more mentally stable than heterosexuals. Billy, would you kindly direct me to the literature that supports this view?

    to Hank:
    I agree that social factors are key here, but it seems a stretch to say that the evolutionary view is bizarre. It does seem to make sense that a man would feel more threatened by a rival that could mate with his partner.

    I think they are assuming that the innate desire to reproduce is present even in college men, despite the social pressure to not reproduce.

    We see the innate desire to copulate (because it feels good), they (the evol psychologists) see the innate desire to reproduce (because it is biologically necessary for the perpetuation of the species).

    Yet I cannot disagree that evolutionary psychologists are often full of it. I have not seen the study itself and do not know if it has been published in a peer reviewed journal. Many of the social sciences have supposedly scientific studies that are anything but....

    Quote
    "Occurrences or numbers of partners aside, the study found that:
    Men had a 50 percent likelihood of continuing to date a woman who had a homosexual affair but only a 22 percent likelihood of staying with her if she cheated with a man.

    Women were more tolerant about a boyfriend sleeping with other women, 28 percent likelihood of continuing to date him, but a boyfriend who had a homosexual affair had a 79 percent likelihood of being kicked to the curb. [READ: 21 % of staying?"

    The real story may be that cheating with women is more tolerated than cheating with men. I believe this can be explained by women having more universal appeal and thus the act appears more understandable. From a purely objective point, on average, people find womens faces more appealing than mens [fact, but citatation is too much effort to find].

    Hank
    Women may even be wired slightly differently, though that's bad for evolutionary psychology too.    If a man cheats with a man, he's gay, if a woman cheats with a woman it's a 'college phase' - those things become cultural jokes because they have a kernel of truth that makes people nod their heads and laugh.

    Plus, women are pretty and smell nice.  No wonder they are attractive to both sexes.
    Want more no-nonsense, independent science? Buy Science Left Behind
    MikeCrow
    It would also seem to make sense to me that from a biological imperative point of view, impregnating 2 women isn't a undesirable out come, where to a female the loss of a mate to another male would be.
    Never is a long time.
    "Lead author Jaime Confer, doctoral candidate in evolutionary psychology, and Professor Mark Cloud, of Lock Haven University bizarrely try to make a biology case that men are more distressed by infidelity that could threaten their paternity of offspring. College age men. Offspring. Yeah, instead of the obvious "it's a porn movie" thing that has nothing at all to do with evolution, no matter who much evolutionary psychologists want everything about sex to be biology."

    Am I missing some incredibly subtle sarcasm? If not, your entire article is one big fallacy. To be precise: you are confusing proximate cause with ultimate cause.

    No one, least of all evolutionary biologists, is suggesting that college age men consciously consider paternity of offspring before they decide whether or not to break up with their girlfriends. ("Hmm, what are the chances I'm raising another man's son? Let's get out the statistics textbooks.") Obviously, they do not choose to feel or not feel sexual jealousy.

    What the scientists are suggesting is that, over the many millions of years of human evolution, there was a reproductive advantage to getting mad about your girlfriend cheating with a man—because you might have to raise his offspring, not yours; but there was no reproductive advantage when it's girl-on-girl, because . . . well, duh. No babies to raise.

    It's quite reasonable to conclude that men have probably evolved (again, not by choice) to feel sexual jealousy toward other men, but not nearly as much toward other women. The actual response is completely instinctual. They don't look at their evolutionary past and make decisions based on differential reproduction rates, which is the straw-man argument you've set up to in order to take cheap shots at evolutionary psychology/biology.

    As for the "porn movie" explanation: well, yes, that's why men like it, or at least like the thought of it (as opposed to merely being neutral). In the absence of strong sexual jealousy toward women, there's not much reason for men not to like it. It's sex, right?

    Bah, faithfuliness is for dogs...

    Plurial relationships occured and occurs since the beginning of the Humanity. Right after wars, where the women outnumbered the men, it happened ; Indians of America used to have informal unions with different partners of different sexes ; In India, where there are infanticides against girls, there are polyandry ; In muslim countries, there are polgyny... etc.
    So, is it possible that the answers would be different if they do the same survey when they will count 50 candles ? When they will be less high-spirited, but well establish, married with children ?

    Let's consider the most obvious reason why a man would not mind his girlfriend having an affair with another woman: it increases the probability of his getting into a threesome with girlfriend and other woman.

    I'm a little inclined to agree on the reasonings presented here, regarding why male homosexuality seems to be less tolerated than female sexuality. It doesn't ring clear as an evolutionary issue.

    Many societies in the past have endorsed, condoned, or even prefered male sexual company (some American Indian tribes and Ancient Greece for instance). This makes homophobia sound like more of a social issue.

    This is so easy to understand...but you have to be FAIR and not try to pigeon-hole all men by referring to only immature men. It would be a long story to explain but I think for starters we could say that for whatever fantasies that female homosexuality might offer men of being able to plant more seeds and have more offspring, male homosexuality surely kills the fantasy of immature women desiring a prince charming to blood-suck and feed her offspring... even it its through a divorce settlement. Gay sex between men isn´t ¨productive¨...not even for fantasies. Hard-working men though, now that is attractive! This is just a biased feminist article attempting on one hand to demonize men, but also not really understanding why men are turning out not to be demons. Instead of looking in the mirror, feminism pawns it off on more immature male seed dispersal as if all they are good for is as baby farmers. Maybe they should look to who is eating the produce. Feminism and equality speak the same language but are really saying opposite things.

    I dislike bad reporting. a 72% - 79% difference is not that large, especially considering that this was done in Texas. It is an EXTREMELY poor journalist who swaps the values like this

    >Women were more tolerant about a boyfriend sleeping with other women, 28 percent likelihood of continuing to date him, but a boyfriend who had a homosexual affair had a 79 percent likelihood of being kicked to the curb.

    Hank
    These are two different metrics, not the same value subtracted from 100.  Read it again.  Take 100 women; if 28 say they would dump a man for sleeping with a woman and 79 say they would dump him for cheating with a man, they don't need to equal 100 percent because they are two different questions.

    I like the smug 'I dislike bad reporting' part though.  You apparently love poor reading comprehension.
    Want more no-nonsense, independent science? Buy Science Left Behind
    >Women were more tolerant about a boyfriend sleeping with other women, 28 percent likelihood of continuing to date him, but a boyfriend who had a homosexual affair had a 79 percent likelihood of being kicked to the curb.

    > 28 say they would dump a man for sleeping with a woman and 79 say they would dump him for cheating with a man,

    LOL

    Compare the two, then laugh. I know we did.

    Yeah, instead of the obvious "it's a porn movie" thing that has nothing at all to do with evolution, no matter who much evolutionary psychologists want everything about sex to be biology.
    This is interesting. I know nothing about evolutionary psychology but you are creating a definite impression that it is stuck in a reductionist paradigm where every social phenomenon has an immediate relevance to Darwinian survival. Psychology went through a similar oversimplification phase with behaviourism. 
     
    Porn has fairly obvious explanations in terms of evolution, since evolution is not in the least bit interested or concerned with what side effects it produces. Assuming that our ancestors were turned on visually rather than simply ignoring potential mates who drift into view - and this does seem glaringly obvious -  evolution would definitely account for porn as a side-effect which may even be counter-productive.  I assume you are saying that evolutionary psychology would have a different approach and seek to explain it as adaptive in its own right. 

    Is this pretty well what you think of it, Hank?

    Never underestimate the power of Darwinian evolution to create survival mechanisms that really suck.
     
    Hank
    I know nothing about evolutionary psychology but you are creating a definite impression that it is stuck in a reductionist paradigm where every social phenomenon has an immediate relevance to Darwinian survival.
    If it were as rigorous as that, I would be okay with it.  It is worse; it seeks to reduce everything to sex and prove it using surveys of college students.
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