This poem delighted me as a child.
I still enjoy it.
I hope you may enjoy it also.
Sir Smashem Uppe
Good afternoon, Sir Smashem Uppe,
We're having tea, do take a cup!
Sugar and milk? Now let me see,
Two lumps, I think?
Ah! dearie me!
The silly thing slipped off your knee!
Pray don't apologize, old chap;
A very trivial mishap!
So clumsy of you? How absurd!
My dear Sir Smashem, not a word!
Now do sit down and have another,
And tell us all about your brother,
You know, the one who broke his head,
Is the poor fellow still in bed?
A chair? Allow me, sir!
That was a nasty smash! Eh, what?
Oh, not at all: the chair was old,
Queen Anne, or so we have been told.
We've got at least a dozen more:
Just leave the pieces on the floor.
Come closer to the window, do,
I want you to admire the view
And see how beautiful ...
Did you not see that it was shut?
I hope you are not badly cut!
Not hurt? A fortunate escape!
Amazing! Not a single scrape!
And now, if you have finished tea,
I fancy you might like to see
A little thing or two I've got.
That china plate? Yes, worth a lot,
A beauty too ...
Ah, there it goes!
I trust it didn't hurt your toes?
Your elbow brushed it off the shelf?
Of course: I've done the same myself.
And now, my dear Sir Smashem ...
You surely don't intend to go?
You must be off? Well, come again.
So glad you're fond of porcelain!