This straight from Ulrich Berger, Austrian Science blogger, freely translated from his article “Wunschelruten an der Hochschule”, because it is just too darn funny not to be known internationally – you know – and also to make sure Germany can again be recognized as a very special place regarding the sciences:

The advantage of a hazelnut rod, which in earlier times was liked to be used, is the possibility to attach test-nodes (Testnosoden) at the tip. This allows to search more aimed at different oscillation patterns. […]

On the picture, visible on my left pinky finger, there is a polarization ring made from ferrite material; this serves the determination of polarization, which means, whether the water vein spins right or left handed.

This is from a diploma dissertation presented to the faculty for landscaping architecture at the University Weihenstephan-Triesdorf in Bavaria near Munich. The German diploma is equivalent to the Master level internationally. No, it was not forwarded to the campus health center’s mental health division in order to ensure that the student receives all the help he needs. Professor Doctor F. Luz evaluated with the highest possible grade. In fact, that student now uses his 'dowsing expertise' to earn a living – no, not relieving ladies with too many cats of their money either, but with urban planning, as far as I can see, paid for by the German tax payer. Well, better than funding drones to shoot up weddings in second world countries any day; I am not complaining or nuthin.

This was two years ago. Everything sorted out now? You bet. The university has officially opened the course “Landscape aesthetics&geomancy and Feng-Shui in Landscape Architecture”. Professor Luz is responsible, and he found another one, Diploma certified Engineer S. Broennle, who teaches whenever Luz is out in the field with his dowsing rod. According to all we know, grades will be established with pendulum and Ouija board.

This is basically updating the article Germany ranks first in Internationalism, remember, the one where I told you the “secret” about that studying in Germany is still mostly for free? Now you don’t even need to care about the stupid science that traditionally was in the way of academic degrees. Pack your stuff, lazy students of the world.

Yes, well, one could also see it as an update of the article Germany Abolishes Itself of course.


More from Sascha Vongehr sorted Topic for Topic