Wild Wells

Caution: satire alert!

The current slight mishap in the Gulf of Mexico is just another oil spill.

So says BP and the media, and we all know we can trust them to be honest and ethical.

The Gulf disaster is not an oil spill - it's a wild well.  I hate weasel words1.

The former CEO of BP put BP on a path towards green energy.  When CEO Tony Hayward took over he promised to focus on safety.  He scrapped all of that green energy nonsense.  After all, the proper course of action for a company genuinely concerned about its green credentials is to take the money wasted on frivolities like wind, wave and solar energy and divert it to improved rig safety.

The current CEO of BP was taken completely by surprise when he discovered that drilling a hole in the earth's crust can trigger a wild well.  Whoever heard of such a thing?

Sarah Palin stands by her 'drill baby drill' policy.  Her explanation is that BP is a foreign company.  By inference, if only Americans had drilled the hole they would not have triggered a wild well.

Yes, that sounds reasonable.  History shows that when an American company gets it wrong, they don't get a blow-out.  More like a 'suck-in'.

Having learned the lessons of its past mistakes, the oil industry is now embarked on a path towards greener energy.  Well, I suppose there is really nothing greener than astroturf.

In an entirely spontaneous demonstration of affection for the oil industry a new grass roots organisation has sprung up insisting in no uncertain terms that oil drilling should be permitted in Alaska's largely unknown Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.  The oil companies, in exchange for such warm and genuine support have agreed to create a small environmental footprint. Rigs will be clustered in an unobtrusive fashion - from 10 to 25 feet apart.

History shows that  putting all of your eggs in one basket is a very sound way of producing economies of scale which are of huge benefit to shareholders.  Sympathetic_detonation is just a theory put out by warmist agendists.  Those amateurs should leave matters of materials handling safety to people who know about these things.

If BP's CEO has any ethics he will resign - and not with a golden handshake.  But I'm not holding my breath.

"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."
Red Adair.

[1] - weasel words are words used by an agendist to imply something unspoken.  In this example, the term 'oil spill' implies a fixed quantity of oil which is leaking or has leaked.  The implication is one of diminishing the scale of the problem as against a gusher or wild well.