I confess I have never been to Maui or any other part of Hawaii.   Part of that is my age - I am still young enough to do fun stuff and so I have had run-ins with Turkish police, the Bulgarian mafia and even set a record at the Escape&Evasion course for officers at Ft. Gordon, GA, but I have never been to Hawaii.

Like the World's Biggest Ball of Yarn, it is something I can do when I am older.  

But part of it is also lack of interest.   Culturally, Hawaiians are regarded as the most racist people in the US - they hate everyone white most of all but they also pretty much hate everyone.   Knowing that makes it a little more difficult to have fun, since employees at the hotel could be spitting in my fruity umbrella drink or whatever people consume on Hawaiian vacations.

But I would never have expected they hate living there, since generally the weather is regarded as the reason to go to Hawaii.    But Maui is apparently miserable.  So miserable they kill themselves.  A lot.

Suicide rates have dropped a lot in the US since the 1950s and recent statistics show an unexpected duo at the low end - New Jersey and Washington, DC have the fewest suicides, under 7 per 100,000.   Nevada, the home of gambling and high heat, is 23/100,000.   The US national average is just under 11.

But Maui, in Hawaii, has a whopping 93/100,000.   Yeah, that's right, the suicide rate in Maui is 13 times higher than New Jersey, where popular culture leads us to believe that the whole state is filled with "Snookie"s and "The Situation"s and that might make me want to end things if I lived there.  And it isn't just Maui.  Kauai has 88 deaths per 100,000 residents, Hawaii island itself has 83 and Oahu has 54.

So now I have a new reason not to visit Hawaii.   Not only do I not want to die now, I don't want to die ever.  So I will either become a transhumanist cyborg with my brain in a robot exoskeleton chassis lording it over ordinary humans or I will sit in a throne in my tomb and make my descendants fight my Lich for their inheritance.

Me, somewhere in Pennsylvania, presumably around 2070.   Want my comic book collection?  Come and get it.