What shapes a man’s life?
To begin: Mom, dad, little Jenny Harrison in the 3rd grade, adolescence, acne, heartache, and the jockstrap.
And then there comes the real trauma, age 60 or so: loss of gluteofemoral adipose tissue.
Sagging of the butt
Collapse of the “gluteo-pecs”
Disappearance of the “back package.”
You know what I’m talking about. It’s that age-related reworking of your once-marvelous physique, when we replace pecs with moobs, 6-pac abs with a two-liter jug and slim leg Levy’s for old time beltless-wear.
Here is how I found out about it:
Tailor: “What is going on back here? Looks like...diapers. Pampers!”
Me: “What do you mean?”