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    Weekend Science - The 5 Best Dogs For Attracting Women
    By Hank Campbell | May 25th 2012 04:00 AM | 35 comments | Print | E-mail | Track Comments
    About Hank

    I'm the founder of Science 2.0® and co-author of "Science Left Behind".

    A wise man once said Darwin had the greatest idea anyone...

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    There is one thing men know about women; they are willing to believe anything about you if you just put forth the effort to fool them a little. A tuxedo in the eyes of a woman, for example, adds $10,000 to your income and knocks 10 lbs. off your weight.

    Now, it doesn't really do any of those things, even social psychologists would not believe something so silly, but women are willing to give you credit for trying; namely spending 50 bucks on an ill-fitting suit and enduring patent leather shoes for an evening.

    And while women are vaguely suspicious of men who own cats(1) , they love men who own dogs.  Cats can be left alone for weeks at a time but dogs, much like showing up at a friend's wedding in a rented tux, reek of commitment.  

    I know that is a rather vague thing to say for a science site. Even Dr. Oz could give advice like 'get a dog'.  You expect more from Science 2.0, like what kind of dog best increases your chances of finding a mate. So I did 5 seconds of research to obtain that answer, namely clicking on a link Alex Berezow of RealClearScience sent me because he seems to think he can find something so ridiculous even I will not write about it.(2)

    Because people can get a little weird about their pets, a company called Klooff created a phone application that allows them to create profiles for their critters, upload pet photos and even "interact" with other owners.  You know what 'interact' really means; weekend hook-ups.

    So they did what all smart companies do; they found out what dogs will get you a date. Their survey was, they say, representative of 1,000 pet owners and non-owners. The average age of respondents was 18-33 (which tells you they do not know what an 'average' actually is), and they included gay and straight people. 


    Hint: Get whatever dog Uma Thurman had in "The Truth About Cats And Dogs." Don't get whatever the little angry one had.

    The cat is, quite literally, out of the bag.

    Want to send the message that you are a perfect one night stand but she shouldn't get too attached?  Borrow a bulldog and head to the doggie park. Boxers and rottweilers work well here also.

    Want to look like relationship material?  A man with a golden retriever is 10X more likely to be perceived as boyfriend-ish than apparently he would be if he owned a pit bull.

    Want a baby mama?  Get a labrador retriever.  And a good lawyer.

    Women were not excluded from getting some advice.

    There is a reason Chihuahuas are always used as props in movies to portray annoying women; only annoying women own them, according to respondents.

    And they are apparently tramps.  A woman with a Chihuahua is 5X more likely to be viewed by men as a one night stand than a woman who owns Golden Retriever.  But a woman who owns a Poodle is the one most likely to be a sure thing, in the eyes of other dog owners.


    Not this kind of tramp.  Credit: Disney

    Don't have any friends with the dogs I have already mentioned?  Here is the top 5 list. If you don't have a friend with one of these dogs, you probably own a cat and deserve to be alone.

    1. German Shepherd
    2. Golden Retriever
    3. Labrador Retriever
    4. Siberian Husky
    5. French Bulldog

    Women, if you want to attract men, get those top two, or throw in a beagle, a poodle and a chihuahua, because apparently you think more of men than they think of you.

    NOTE:

    (1) The military too - if you ever took the military's Flight Aptitude Selection Test, 50 percent of the questions are personality profiling, including "Would you rather own a dog or a cat?"  There is a right answer to that question and if you think that answer is 'cat' you are out of your mind.  

    (2) He is wrong.

    Comments

    Gerhard Adam
    I don't know about that list.  I prefer my two Akitas ... they both get attention.
    Mundus vult decipi
    blue-green
    This works:



    Makes you want to pick him up and hug him.
    Below is his big bull-dog impression.

    Stellare
    Your dogs sure look friendly, Gerhard. Inviting on a cuddle. :-) Based on the looks of your dogs, I hope you live in a not so warm climate. hahaha :-)
    Bente Lilja Bye is the author of Lilja - A bouquet of stories about the Earth
    I like the little angry one. But I tend to like women that find me disappointing...

    Hank
    I like the little angry one too.  She's funny. We'd be good friends.  But the little evolutionary psychologist in me says that, should I become available, Uma Thurman is the way to go.  It's science!
    John Hasenkam
    So how would women respond if you said you like dogs so much you regularly have them as a meal? :)
    Hank
    If you're funny about it, it's always okay.   Meeting a girl and blurting out, "I like to eat dogs!" is not going to have a positive effect.  But if she asks "Do you like dogs?" and you reply, "I love dogs! I keep two in the freezer, for special occasions" she will laugh.  It is only later she will come to the realization that you are not kidding.  Hopefully, by then she will like you enough that it is too late.
    All I can say is there is no way the guys writing this story tested a full grown male Pointer, chick magnet!

    Stellare
    I do not understand this science. To me men with cats indicate a more confident person and thus more likely not to be afraid of committement. I'd go for the catman. hahaha Still not science. ;-)


    Bente Lilja Bye is the author of Lilja - A bouquet of stories about the Earth
    Hank
    This is like arguing that a man who walks around singing Broadway show tunes is "more confident" - and he certainly is.  But first impressions matter in a busy world. When we met for lunch I brought a toy bear (awesome) but if I had instead started singing songs from "A Chorus Line" you would have thought that a little strange. I hope.
    Stellare
    Like I said, it isn't science. :-)

    If you'd sang a song I would have put that on 'this is a different culture over here in SF'. hehe I would have found you perfectly normal, teddy bear or song - same difference to me.

    In reality, I do not believe the animal choices make a big difference. I used to love only dogs (I grew up with them) and did not particularly care about cats. Then, as a student, I got a cat because dogs were not possible to combine with being a student....and thus suddenly I was a cat lover. But, note, I was still the exact same person....

    No, it is definitely not science...:-)
    Bente Lilja Bye is the author of Lilja - A bouquet of stories about the Earth
    I am a guy and am a cat person. I "get" cats and like their independence and "I don't give a damn" attitude. This has never helped me with women. Dogs? Needy, submissive, dependent, disgusting habits, loyal to the point of obsessive. My wife loves dogs, totally weird.

    Hank
    And Bente claimed this was not science.  Your anecdote is all the data we need!
    Dalmatians. Beautiful and athletic. Chick magnets.

    UvaE

    'should have had Blues when I was single!

    Bonny Bonobo alias Brat

    If you are a gay man and you want a dog to attract men, I recommend taking this dog for a walk on the beach. Most men I pass seem to fall in love with him and come up and ask me what breed he is and where he's from? Well he's an Australian Kelpie but he is a quite unusual brown and tan colouring, normally they are red like the dog in the film 'Red Dog'. He has a wonderful nature and is very athletic and full of the joy of life, like no other animal I have ever known.

    My latest forum article 'Australian Researchers Discover Potential Blue Green Algae Cause & Treatment of Motor Neuron Disease (MND)&(ALS)' Parkinsons's and Alzheimer's can be found at http://www.science20.com/forums/medicine
    Stellare
    There are so many nice dogs on this page right now! :-)

    Helen Barratt had an interesting angle when showcasing her dog - what's with this gay thing, I wondered? Well, the title of the article is about how (men) can attract WOMEN, the opposite sex. That applies only to the heterosexual males. Men catching women using dogs as bait. Helen's angle included the homosexuals (males again)

    What I would like to ask then is what kind of dogs do women need to attract men? What does science say about that, Hank?

    Guys, give us the  top 5 dogs on a platter, thank you very much! ;-)

    Bente Lilja Bye is the author of Lilja - A bouquet of stories about the Earth
    Hank
    I included the results about women but only down at the bottom because, really, for a woman to get a man is as easy as announcing she would like a man. 

    But here you go:
    Women, if you want to attract men, get those top two, or throw in a beagle, a poodle and a chihuahua, because apparently you think more of men than they think of you.
    Stellare
    Yes, I remember I read that, but it wasn't presented with a Best 5 list. Actually, it was more focus on what dog NOT to get. :-)

    And this "But a woman who owns a Poodle is the one most likely to be a sure thing, in the eyes of other dog owners."

    isn't exactly convincing in terms of being attractive. Being a sure thing is something else, Hank! :-)
    Bente Lilja Bye is the author of Lilja - A bouquet of stories about the Earth
    Bonny Bonobo alias Brat
    Bente, I should have pointed out that my unusual gold and tan, incredibly handsome and adorable Australian Kelpie, attracts men for any women who are walking with him too. Unfortunately for me they are mainly young, bronzed, equally handsome surfy men in their 20s and 30s and I'm older and married, so its all a bit of an irrelevance for me, especially as they are plainly only interested in the dog! 
    My sixteen year old dog Tess (on the right) who is a cross between an Australian Kelpie and a Welsh Border Collie attracts much older men. When I first got her from the dog pound 15 years ago, she had been seriously abused and was terrified of all men, especially bald ones with moustaches. Now she is a reformed character who trusts everyone, especially older, bald men with moustaches, who she now seems to actively seek out, unfortunately for them! 

    She walks up to them looking lovingly into their eyes, forgiving them all for their past transgressions and demanding a loving pat and she usually gets one. However, some of these men are visibly horrified and I have to call her away and apologise to them. Either way she's responsible for me talking to a lot of balder, older men! 

    My third dog Zack, a Border Collie cross Australian Cattle dog (on the left) is only interested in balls and sticks, and people throwing them for him, so no one passing by goes near him unless they want to become his slave for the next few minutes. Most sensible men try to walk past him without even looking down into his desperate, pleading, hypnotising eyes and tennis ball encompassing, slavering jaws.
    My latest forum article 'Australian Researchers Discover Potential Blue Green Algae Cause & Treatment of Motor Neuron Disease (MND)&(ALS)' Parkinsons's and Alzheimer's can be found at http://www.science20.com/forums/medicine
    Stellare
    You have lovely dogs, Helen. :-) They look like fun. And you reveal without a shred of doubt that you love them all. :-)
    Bente Lilja Bye is the author of Lilja - A bouquet of stories about the Earth
    My St. Bernard is a true chick magnet. He's always surrounded by multiple chicks and he's big enough to handle multiple petters.

    So what does this tell me abut my GF that once owned two Siberian Huskies, but now owns a Chihuaua?

    Hank
    I'd keep her number handy for drunk dialing, if I were you.
    obviously, she was 'downsizing.'

    This article is stupid. If you only want to have a one-night-stand, why don't you just say so? If you want a LTR, why don't you just say so? What kind of uncommunicative tool sends mating signals through his dog?

    Hank
    I agree and men are glad women never play games or manipulate people. We'll remember that the next time a woman happens to conveniently drop something when we are standing nearby.
    Well I think a person with honor says what he/she wants, no apologies, and lets the chips fall. Also, I'm wondering, what does it look like when a woman accidentally drops something vs. when she drops something because she wants attention?

    Pitbulls do work, they are just a niche breed. My last dog, a female pit, was cute as a button. She was well socialized and definitely drew some women. The kind I like, I miss Booh.

    My wife refused to let me take our black Lab puppy for walks by myself after the first time she saw random women stop me to coo at that cute little ball of black fluff and adorableness. If I was ever single again I'd have seven.

    Kept as pets, both cats and dogs are social parasites. Pet owners are weak-minded with excessive emotionalism.

    Baa humbug!

    Now, tropical fish......there's animal to keep!

    Hank
    Good luck picking up chicks in the park with a tropical fish.
    Gerhard Adam
    Silly.  You don't have to bring the fish.  Usually the face mask, fins, and SCUBA tank are enough for a conversation starter.
    Mundus vult decipi
    I don't need no stinking fish to pick up chicks!

    BTW, "Baa humbug" is not an endorsement of keeping sheep as pets either.

    Stellare
    "I don't need no stinking fish to pick up chicks!"

    Yes, you do! ;-)

    (Taken you are not a keeper of cats, dogs...or sheep!?!)
    Bente Lilja Bye is the author of Lilja - A bouquet of stories about the Earth